"Riding Solo."

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

...Oh, I guess that's my cue.

Hello! Yes, I'm alive (I'm starting to see I say that a lot now, Lol). Let's delve!

So, I've got a friend who basically asked I treat him the way I treat my beloved Small Townies interestingly enough, and that I write a post which gives my feedback and input on his situation. Since he's sorta a train wreck when dealing with relationships, he doesn't have to fear being the proverbial outsider here. Ha.

I met him in September ... But it's one of those "I've known you my whole life" things. So, I think I've got a great grasp on his situation. Not that it's that complex, plus I've witnessed it before I met him, and I'm quite certain I will again in the future. 

Well, he's single, and he hates it. Yup! This bullshit again. Anywho, he's got a 'round the clock yearning for the affection and tenderness one receives from their significant other. And since he's not havin' all that much luck in the dating pond, he's going a bit crazy...

Here's where I weigh in ... For starters, there's NOTHING wrong with being single!!! Secondly, a modern relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's an endless array of bullshitters + game players out there who'll disguise themselves and take advantage of you in any number of ways. Nowadays, the usual result of putting yourself out there isn't only still being alone, but upset too. Who remembers the times where being a single man meant that you were available, sexy, and taking time to figure out what you're looking for?
Finding someone worthwhile, and solidifying a relationship doesn't, and it won't happen overnight. Plus, I've observed that it's something you don't find when you drive yourself crazy trailing after it ... It's a pleasant surprise, a thing you'll stumble upon when you least expect it.
As for you, Dontel (I don't protect the guilty, Lol), embrace singledom! That's the bottom line. And for those like him, those rules apply for you, too ... Also, I do suggest you invest in quality you time.

*Patiently waits for minds to exit the gutter*

Thoroughly explore yourself ...

*Waits again*

... 'Cause for those in those situations, there's a completely different relationship which needs their attention: The relationship they've got with themselves. Something's a bit off there. Sometimes, in a world where partnering up is all one wants to do, there's nothing better than being out of a relationship. You're completely at liberty to do whatever pleases you, and you've acquired more time to spend with the soul-mates you have already found: Your best friends.

"The Young And The Restless."

I'm young, but I'm restless.

I'm starting to understand I sorta flip-flop about what I feel ... Sometimes, I don't know what I feel. Maybe, those are the indicators there's too much there and I can't separate those feelings. Maybe, I'm empty and that's that.

Then again, 'Emptiness' is a feeling too. It's not a great one. Life's bittersweet.

"A New Beginning."

Small Townies! Yes, I'm alive Lol.

Life's what happens while you're makin' other plans you see. That's completely random, but it's the truth. Life is calling, and I don't have the time that I used to. Nevertheless, I'm here in the now. Let's delve!

Although I'm wiped out, I've still got shit to say.

I'm starting to learn shit all happens for a reason ... Tears eventually fade, a wound heals, and one day you'll understand everything's exactly how it's supposed to be. Notice I said 'supposed'. You see, 'supposed' don't necessarily go hand in hand with your expectations and wants. That's life! It opens you up to shit that's exotic and new to you. It's all for the best, too. 'Moving on' is a process which requires dedication and a promise to oneself that you're truly ready to let loose, and the shit that hurt you in the past don't matter anymore. 

It's never easy nor painless, and it's never supposed to be. That's the truth. Could you smile, and dig to uncover the beautiful?

"Me, Myself & I."

How often are we forgetting about our needs and wants? Especially for a relationship. Any relationship?

We're willing to compromise, jeopardize and sacrifice parts of ourselves for those we love, for their benefit.

Is there a point where selflessness becomes selfishness? And we've began neglecting ourselves? Honestly.

The Art of Compromise is inevitable ... That's the truth. However, that doesn't imply one shouldn't think of themselves while makin' a big decision.

Whether you cannot have a cat, nor enjoy yourself a cigarette in the comfort of your own apartment ... One may wonder. Is it worth it? I've got a whole lot I've got to consider for the future...

...Do you?

"Crystal Visions."

Here's a quicky, gentlemen ... It's probably not the one Small-Town hopefuls was a hopin' for, but hey.

Trust.

"You can trust me!" ... How many times has that blown up in your face? Personally, I've lost count. It's like counting the miserable sheep when you're too tired to sleep ~ What a grueling sport that is.

Trust is like a Mirror. You can "fix it" when it's broke. However, you'll still see a crack in that motherfuckers' reflection.

Broken Trust ~ The Scar on Belief everywhere.

Never forsake Trust.

'Ya don't know whatcha' got 'till its gone ... Easily lost, Hardly found.

The crinkled dollar which blew 'outta your pocket on a freezing, snowy Winter's Day. The freshly lit cigarette gusting in the wind, rolling along with the wind on the Freeway. Gone.

However, Trust can't be Found by uncovering the Snowflakes, or wandering about for that Nicotine fix ... It could be forever lost Without a Trace, like the Friend or Lover breached.

"Silence Of The Cheaters."

What's with cheating???

I'll answer that!

If you cheat gentlemen, there's definitely a piece missing in the relationship you're in.

You can plead the fifth, chucking it up to mistake and a wrongdoing.

Be that as it may, there's more there ... You're either in denial, refusing to face the fact, or you're not digging deep enough to explore the problems.

In any relationship, there's always a level of temptation to delve into the unknown.

Which may entail a little something something with a slutty cocktail waitress ... To loosen the gag (No pun intended) and embrace the pond of potential sex partners.

And that's human nature for men and women, no harm and no foul.

However, these urges are typically avoided when a man processes his current commitment ... He can realize what he gets at home is second to none.

He could then learn to put his free and wild sexuality undercover 'cause he don't need another lover.

It's the Season of Love in his life ~ The Season of Makin' Shit Happen.

Forget about the loose cocktail waitress. It's a waste of time, a complete waste. She probably has chlamydia or something anyway.

She'll say it's safe and all, but that's what they said about the Ford Pinto ... Think about it, do you want a Pinto near your dick? *Head Shake*. No.

Anywho, let's not veer off course, lads. 'Lads'. I can't with myself sometimes.

Okay. Okay. Cheating is a sensitive topic, and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Don't mind little 'ole me, I'm bad.

There are quite a few different cheating scenarios, and it can't easily be defined as a single thing.

So, let's delve!

You've got the knocking back of a few too many and ending up in the back of an El Camino. Classification Classy Cheat. Not.

You can place the blame on the alcohol, but a drunk mind channels a sober heart ... There's something within your relationship that's not clicking, or fucking? There's a brainteaser for 'ya. Chomp on that reality biscuit.

Don't scapegoat the Bud Light, that's not nice. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm a Sex Addict!" doesn't fly either. You're a "Sex Addict"? Really? And I'm a shoe!

Sex isn't frequent enough for you? Communicate that! I can't repeat that enough. Communicate! And if it's one night she's not there, invest in a little diddling with yourself ... Don't go manwhoring about dude.

The bar broad meant absolutely nothing to you, but for your current woman, she'll think it meant everything. Hell, you did it, didn't you? She'll begin to believe she doesn't get your rocks off, which will inevitably cause potentially irreparable damage to your relationship, leaving her bags packed and out. All 'cause you didn't communicate, 'ya douche. Unless........

The 'Unless' being you're in a relationship where the boundaries for healthy trust and forgiveness are lost on you both.

She can't stand the thought of being alone, you can't/won't face the actual problems in the relationship, which are now completely over the top bad.

That isn't a relationship anymore ... That's a disaster my friend, a conflicting, emotional disaster. Her being too afraid to let it go, you STILL being too afraid to just talk. And if you could've talked, imagine the reality of that as opposed to this aftermath of not.

Then there's the "relationship", where there's obviously something missing, and you cheat relentlessly. What's left there diminishes more and more every time. You could feel the guilt, or you feel nothing at this point.

Utter numbness ... You sleep with other girls to run from the troubles you can't even feel anymore. Yet you're still strapped to all this carnage and nothingness. Your current 'girlfriend' knows the full extent of your indiscretions, but has self-esteem problems or some shit and allows this to be her world, ignoring everything.

Emotional Chaos ~ These relationships are the signs that two people aren't meant to be. Hopefully you can free yourselves and learn something valuable for the future. Maybe you can stay friends (Although I doubt it), while definitely moving on.

Also, there's the "relationship" where both people actively cheat, maybe even find somebody new but feel shackled to the confusion and the pain of their current thing.

That's gotta end. Y'all need to book it and get out, so you can live. Your happiness lies elsewhere.

So, you see now, 'cheating' is tricky. It's a series of excuses, which can't be defined as a single thing.

There are endless Cheating Scenarios.

Gentleman, don't let those eyes wander ... That's the deadliest of Small Town sin.

Derive your own answers, solve your own problems. Life itself is the ultimate test of love and strength. And everyone's different 'ya know.

If you find yourself copying, you'll never know of your own mark in the world ... That's not cool.

In a world riddled with earth-shattering questions, both happy and heartbreaking, a dude can only hope for a Cheat Sheet. However, he must only battle with his three top resources in life while using them wisely. His dick, his heart, and his mind.

"I Can Set Your Secrets Free, Baby!"

Let's talk expression ... Self-expression. Emotional/Mental. Physical. Sexual. Key thing being, expression can't be disregarded, and it cannot be neglected. It's simply essential for living fully and happily. Unavoidable. Lose those doubts, 'cause you'll find no danger in expressing yourself. Let those walls burn down. It's fine.

Let's not dance around the subject, delve instead ... Expression and relationships. There's a 'PMS' model that's well-worth following. "Physical, Mental/Emotional, and Sexual expression". They're the beneficiaries of a healthy relationship one could say. The exposure disclosure. However, they're all useless unless exploited.

First and foremost, if you're not physically attracted to your woman, you shouldn't even read this 'cause that relationship has gots to go. I'm only saying, if you've gotta pop a viagra non-medically to plow the fields, why plant on that farm? A fresh start isn't THAT awful. Anywho, even if you aren't the "type", communicate those emotional/mental needs by takin' off the hard hat and quittin' the bitchin'. Which implies expressing what you feel AND what you think ... Don't get it twisted, it's possible they're total opposites in particular situations but they're equally vital, and you've gotta put those motherfuckers together real nice like Edible Arrangements. Could be bittersweet, but important. Last, but most-certainly not least, sexual. The thing which makes lovin' fun! Expressing bedroom needs, while cherishing the spark which turns 0 to 60 in a second. Mindblowingly. Get Raw and Go There with your woman. Make those octaves roar. Don't be a tease, that's child's play gentlemen. Don't be a misleading trailer for what's an incredible movie. Perfect every scene, and make every act undeniably irresistible and unforgettable with unmatched fire and intensity, using immense passion.

If, somehow, that didn't clue sweet wonderful you in, "Talk To Me" is but an ear away, Stevie Nicks style ... It's mindbogglingly fabulous, an orgasm for the ears, an inspiration for expression everywhere. Take the walls down gentlemen. There's something you can do ... A big smile, a good cry, a great laugh, an open heart and mind (Legs too, why not), let it out.

If you could have that relationship ... Where, any given moment, you experience that unshakable urge to have your woman right then and there, forever telling her about how gorgeous she is, how much you love her. And you're capable of emotionally and mentally expressing yourself at any degree, without fearing the fifth degree, or sweating judgment or ridicule. Where the bleakest thought of the bed pushes you over the edge of wooing excitement, and gettin' down with the get down by being freaky and going raw isn't intimidating done with the greatest of ease and love, it simply doesn't get any sweeter than that. There's something happening there, and it's fabulous. Let it happen, and don't rock the boat, let all those inhibitions go.

"I can see, we're thinkin' 'bout the same things ...

And I can see your expression when the phone rings,

We both know there's somethin' happenin' here.

Well, there's no sense in dancin' round the subject ...

And a wound gets worse when it's treated with neglect,

Don't turn around, there's nothin' here to fear."

"Meet Me Halfway."

Who recollects their teenaged relationships and all their teenaged flirting? Those times where cracking jokes, makin' fun and constantly teasing was how a guy showed a gal he liked her. I couldn't help but wonder ... Do we ever truly quit using those methods? A man tries to please his girlfriend whenever its possible, but pre-relationship, the 'Flirting Stage' duration, those teenaged rules still apply. The more a chick we dig ignores us, and teases us pretending that we don't exist, we're incredibly vulnerable to wanting her even more. Enjoying the chase, a forbidden love, or playing hard to get but it works. There's one thing, one thing that a man needs to know ... Are we chasing after somebody who'll never turn back around, meeting us halfway at the borderline of love? Is this the "Teenaged Rule", or simply being cruel?

"Reap Just What You Sow."

'Ya know, I'm not positive that I believe in belonging with somebody, destiny, fate ... When you're young, you scribble up these makeshift 'Fortune Tellers', randomly choose a couple numbers and there's your future carved in stone. However, I do think we're capable of falling in and out of love with multiple girls within our lifetime, and being equally happy with completely different women. Maybe, there are those particular girls we feel we "belong with", thinking that we must take that chance with or we'll miss out on something valuable.

Those gut feelings don't necessarily insinuate that she's "The One" for you but there's something else meant there. What's the fallback, or the 'Plan B', in the event a guy goes without receiving his opportunity? Whether it's the gal and she's not being receptive and resisting, or the feelings aren't matching and this "fate" isn't going anywhere productive, and that's that.

You see, Small-Townies, we've got all the abilities for preparing our own fate ... Rearranging, Remastering, Restyling, whatever, and makin' our own lives our personal definition of fabulous regardless of anything and everything. It's not our 'Predestined Fate', serving time for a crime. God and the Stars don't envision that shit. That's all us! Rough times, stupidity, a thrill, vengeance ... Those bring you to crime.

We're printing our fates hot off the press shooting a thing down, not attending a particular event pretending you had not received the invitation, or throwing an ex-girlfriend into your voicemail. It's something flickering inside us. It's the same for mates and a relationship. We can choose to "belong" to any woman. We'll take a shot, going for broke and check if we hit the target. If you don't, maybe you'll hit a different one, or try again.

"The Mistaken Identity."

Terrific ... I've found myself standing all alone on "The One-Way" yet again, Small-Townies.

What's "The One-Way" you all might ask? It's incredibly simple, especially for consistent viewers and those with experience. The art of realizing you care about somebody who's meaningful to you in your life more than they about you. Familyship, Friendship, Relationship ... Veritable spots for "One-Way" bullshit. Right now, it's about friendship, which I unfortunately know all too much about.

Inevitably, I dedicate myself to friends ... The close few I adore, cherish & love unconditionally/wholehearted without a doubt, I'm there for. Bullshit after bullshit, but the few still remain. What continuously occurs is that they find a great relationship, and I get the gank. Why? I have no fucking idea.

Maybe their new relationship has 'em turnt out, and they'll begin losing sight? I don't know. I don't ... But I do know it's inexcusable dusting a close friend off all for a relationship. I've dealt with this bullshit far too long in life, (Kim's relentless drama), and I'm exhausted. Can't anything not fucking suck?

I'm the one who'll be there for a friend regardless of anything and absolutely everything. Maybe, I'm one of those masochists. Get a relationship, and I'm a resident of "The Back-Burner". 'Ya know except for all those late calls obsessing about the relationship, forgetting a friendly "How are you?" before proceeding to ramble. Fabulous. I feel forever-so appreciated! Thank you. That's, that's great.

Currently, I'm strapped to this complete disaster with a great friend, a sisterly chick. Considering her and I had lost a great friend 'cause of the exact same shit, I'm speechless she's entering such a forbidden territory. I can't begin to tell you how much we mocked this chick for the mistakes she had made ... Ruthless! I cannot find an outlet for the anger I've got, and I think it's in our best interest we maintain a distance for a bit, in case I start flipping the script on her ass. I've dealt with this bullshit far too long in life, I'm familiar with this game. I need time, and that's that for now. She'll be leaving for a few week trip sometime tomorrow, so I get the time that I need after all.

~

*SIDEBAR*

She's incredibly religious ... She's not "intimate" with her man. Besides slipping the tongue (And not South), they're barely misplacing the boundaries of the "FriendZone", minus their exclusive label together. It's not 'till the marriage, at least for her. I know her guy wants more in the nearer future, which will bring about pressure and 'bunch of other bullshit. I don't blame him not one bit. A relationship minus sex is a relationship not worth having. 'Ya know, I'm pro-sex, especially when it's about the love. A 2 Carat Diamond Ring equaling making love to your woman doesn't fly for me...

...Oh The Road to Hell, paved with such great intentions. Too bad Hallmark doesn't carry any "Hey Asshole ... Best wishes!" cards...

...Disaster.

~

Alrighty ... Hopefully, she'll do a 'lotta thinking too and reflect a bit. However (Anything after "But" is shit), I doubt that. "Love" has got her batting for The Blindside in the grand scheme. The Classification of Neglect is "The Mistaken Identity", and I know all the rules, all the everything. Until stuff begins to spoil in her whatever you call it, I'm the sideline bitch who promotes emotional sluttiness for her given I'll get her to talk at all about anything!

I'm aggravated. Frustrated. Upset. Whatever. I truly hope everything works out for her ... Does that imply I'll get cut 'outta her "Picture Perfect" life? Who knows. However, I'm crystal with what I should anticipate here. I understand everything and all the possible outcomes.

Along the road, something's bound for an accident. Few pieces start going M.I.A, a few other(s) fall out, it's bullshit we're experienced with. 'Nadda new there ... And who's the first phone call she'll make? Halsey! The last question left is, will I answer? How much longer can I stand alone here, on "The One-Way" before I U-Turn that shit? Fleet the motherfucker. Fleet!

The synopsis? Simple, Small-Townies. Regardless a relationship that's all roses and sunshine, DON'T forget about those relentlessly there through anything and everything that's happened. The close friends. Continue to have those few relationships bloom and evolve with the world, converse and laugh as normal ... And no, not about the relationship all of the time. Please! Don't be "that" friend, that's not cute. Ugh, everyone runnin from your ass, hiring the local hitman. That's what's up. This bitch annoying!

Balance your relationships! Take a class, whatever, I'm only sayin'. Painful! Consider yourself powerless ... Succumb and get a nametag, do the 12-Steps for disillusioned and needy, dance a jig. There are heart(s) all on the line there. Admit the problems! Stuff could easily, emphasis on easily, spoil for the relationship. It's like Milk, 'wanna drink chunks? No. Leonardo DiCaprio and the heavyset chick ... Glorious - Triumphant? Sure! Hangin' on a wooden door, dying of hypothermia. Are you understanding? Lawd! I can't.

Don't forget friends ... And DON'T be "that" friend. Calling all Snipers! Seriously 'cause if and when the Milk curdles, there's a great chance they'll be long gone. Watch for the expiration dates. And after everything, could you truly blame 'em for dropping out?

"The Milk Carton."

I couldn't help but wonder ... Precisely how many remarkable women are men shipping into the FriendZone? Could right now be the opportune time to begin instituting rent increase and start notarizing those eviction notices? Reevaluate a gal friends' position within your life? Maybe, "The One" is the gal you never visioned in the Pretty Woman's gorgeous Red Dress. Never appeared thought worthy 'cause it's not conventional.

Recently, non-recently, but all experiences from within my life have lead me to wonder, are our Soulmates a resident of the FriendZone? Girlfriends, all simply enter and leave, hence the plural. But these few girls, those with a different label I'm now attempting to differentiate the uniqueness from Girlfriend, "Best Friend(s)" are there forever. And, maybe a man needs a bit longer than forever to illogically and logically realize these girls embody the relationship we perpetually creep about yearning for, but can't find. They've given desperately needed support for all our bad breakups and relationships, and have lent a hand in bad situations at home. We've shared all those chuckles, experiences and joy we wish a Non-FriendZoned gal would be worthy of. Our Best Gal Friends make us happier than any Girlfriend, yet we don't put two and two together. Answers, those that we're desperate for, lie right before our eyes ... It's emotional blindness.

We can't think any higher of the girls we've named our Best Friend(s). We're on the never-ending hunt for "The One" to complete us, yearning for the one day it would all be done. But maybe those failed relationships and horrifying dates are all telltale signs we're on the wrong track. And it's never too late to turn around, then seeing "The One" right before your eyes, there's the gal that we were contemplating filing a "Missing Persons" for. A 'lotta men don't consider the friend conundrum 'cause we're raised to believe it breaches an unwritten contract. It's seemingly odd. Unconventional. But, if a man can crack the friend factor, and finds a loophole, who knows of the reward(s). Would require balls ... But these are our lives! Take the wheel, fellas.

Friendships are relationships. Couldn't we tweak the characteristics and fastforward through the bullshit? I can honestly say that my Best Friends, who're dominantly women, have made me happier than any Girlfriend that I've had. And happiness is vital for a relationship, any relationship. So, maybe "The One" has been there from day one. There for a bad movie, egg whites at your diner, while you fixate on all your shipwrecked relationships, men and women, who didn't make the cut. Maybe that's her, and the scissors are meaningless. The "Forbidden Territory" advocates risk, but while you're receiving all the benefits of a great relationship, begin putting the glasses on ... Maybe, of all of the maybe's, it's time for the sex.

Shit...

"Just Say Yes."

Could one truly know when something is right? How would one truly know such a thing? Are there signs? Firecrackers? Would one being comfortable prove that there aren't any firecrackers in the relationship? Would hesitation prove something isn't right there or you're simply not prepared? Oh, the questions. For the trials of love, how would one truly know that it's right?

I couldn't help but wonder ... Maybe, there aren't any right answers, right times or right women. Maybe you should simply listen to what your heart is telling you. Yes ... Just say yes.

Delaney, for instance. Times could not get any worse for our personal lives, and we had begun searching for those right times within our relationship, in attempts to perfect something. Everything, in our lives, was terribly uncontrollable. I guess a sense of control flickered within us while contending with our relationship together. But those adventures of "control" had disbenefited us, as I felt more powerless while stuff began to shift, and in a bad way with the distance seemingly irreconcilable.

Was there a possible way where stuff could've ended differently? Yes, I'm convinced. Is timing everything? If Delaney & I hadn't partnered up then, and had waited for a more encouraging opportunity later on, could there and would there have been a major difference? We would have attained the time to dedicate ourselves to what had drawn us apart in our lives. And, we'd have been more experienced ... Stronger. Prepared for a commitment which craved equal attention, desperately needed it to survive.

The "woes" still continue for her and myself. I have faced, she has faced, draining uphill battles since splitting. Heavy realizations are the normality, I have them every day. Here's a tip to take, from our relationship : You shouldn't enter deep waters when you are currently a shallow swimmer. Even if you're completely willing to chance it, come up for air and talk shit out. The relationship will drown otherwise. Maybe, Delaney & I were both terribly possessive of particular feelings and that simply couldn't work. We were chained to anchors. Being doomed was our destiny 'cause of that. When you love a gal, find the key to unshackle yourself and your feelings too. Allow small space to feel what you're feeling, and to think about everything, open up but a smidgen. Simply follow, and listen to your heart ... 'Cause it brings you home, always.

"The Big Journey."

There are a lot of men of a particular age, who are charming and single, searching for a particular thing. That particular thing doesn't necessarily involve a particular ring. We've switched the black books for black suits, and replaced the Mustang with a pricey Rolex, but 'cause of particular evidence, I couldn't help but wonder ... Are we the new bachelors?

"I Can't Find The Time To Tell You."

Are the words you feel a foggy mist surrounding you everywhere you go in life? Simply put, you can't find the time to tell somebody how you truly feel? You're either tangled in work among other stuff, or the plain fear of those possible outcomes of feelings intimidate you? Tomorrow, next week and next month, are all of the time mechanisms we use to avoid our feelings, and avoid total disappointment or rejection. Although men try, are we trying hard enough?

You could write a novel of feelings with 1,000 pages but you can't utter a word to this gal within 1,000 ages. Once a man reaches a particular age and a particular number of relationships which had not worked out, "Baby, I can't find the time to tell you..." simply doesn't cut it anymore. There's a deadline on communicating, it's the unspoken Rule of Love. There are times where something, a promotion, an untapped relationship slips away out of your grasp before you had grabbed a hold and explored all the possibilities and opportunities. It, like a boat released from the shackles of an anchor, has set sail without you.

When all these things occur, a guy has to ask, "Did I try hard enough?" ... After heavy realizations, "No" may be the answer. There'll be a guilt period, and you might hate yourself for a while, for not grabbing a hold of the opportunity of a successful relationship and true love. And you'll ask, "Was that conflicting time lot living or procrastinating?" The Verdict : Avoid the total disaster and FIND the time. Whatever it means to you, a guy must let go of the Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda, buckle up and keep going; Trust me, I know.

"Strange Condition."

Strange condition, familiar crossroads ... Those times where you don't know what you've came for, but you want somebody to know something, and you want to know something in return for that. What? It's not clear, but it's there, sorta like a wordless letter.

Delaney; Our relationship was this wordless letter. There was something I wanted her to know, and I wanted to know something in return. I think she did too, and that's where the communication deprivation began being puzzling and, well ... Frightening. We slipped outta the other's arms and I'm still not sure how, or even why.

I wasn't sure what I needed and wanted to say among everything I dealt with at that time. I had a fried brain, I couldn't think, not even for a minute; I was emotionally/mentally numb. I did that to myself to avoid hurt. I don't think Delaney knew, either. She was stranded in escaping the struggles that she hadn't dealt with.

The distance was quite far. It couldn't even be interpreted as a mechanism to grow closer anymore, but only for furthermore separating from the other, until one couldn't possibly find their way back. There wouldn't any longer be a reason for not knowing what you've came for 'cause you couldn't come at all. And the question, whatever that was, still remains ever-so unclear for the heart and mind. But, now that I think about it ... Maybe I might know what I needed and wanted to say and receive in return. This, too, goes for Delaney...

" ... I love you."

"Let's Have A Smoke And A Drink Sometime."

Men constantly complain about how women disappoint their expectations and about all those awful dates ... We chase these model-types, and eventually get a date, only to question suicide 'cause it's so horrible. There isn't a connection, and the personality level welcomes a whole new unbearable when her idea of interesting is Maybelline and, of course, her outstanding unpaid traffic ticket. Looks are deceiving, especially while you're penning $100 out to the Municipal Court to run from a mess...
...Are these terrible dates messages in disguise to actually avoid these women? Should men begin using the Town's "Untapped Resource" in women, and start finding real connections? 'Ya know, those women that we encounter but never think twice about 'cause their looks don't kill?

I'm not speaking about the physical connection alone ... There's a plethora of girls you'll get those vibes from. And that's the truth, cut and dry. Our ideas about "The Total Package" are influenced by propaganda, which will control our twenties, thirties and even our fourties searching for this fictional woman; She doesn't exist.

Sometime you'll realize, that maybe you should've had a smoke and a drink with the discretely beautiful gal who was eyeing you up in interest, sweetly, that you had slightly smiled, waved and kept walking from 'cause propaganda has captured all disinterest conceived by old territory that sways you away from the reality.

The world constantly tells a guy "Get Real" ... Let's. Let's stroll down to Earth, and see a great woman who lives there. Who's got a dazzling personality and looks you see for a Princess. Screw the criticisms, 'cause all who ridicule are blinded to the truth of your earth-shattering connection and love that they pipe-dream about. It'll disappear instantaneously, 'cause they're the individuals chasing a dream they want of a reality, while you chased the reality and found yourself a dream.

Reflect...

"Running With Scissors."

I couldn't help but get to thinking about safe sex ... Odd how only when our physical lives are at risk do we follow certain guidelines in order to protect ourselves. But why are we so quick to forget about our emotional lives? Wouldn't it be great if there were a little pamphlet to warn us what unsafe behavior might be high risk to ourselves and our relationships? Even if you take all of the precautions and emotionally try to completely guard yourself, when you hop into the bed with someone, is sex really ever safe?

"The Awful Truth."

I couldn't help but wonder ... Are individuals planting big premiums on truthfulness and openness, where now we've misplaced the boundaries of propriety; Are there still things in a relationship that one should never say? After critical thinking, I think there are utterances better left un-uttered. Those venomous words that we don't mean and are unfiltered roll off of the tongue in a split second cause irreparable damage for the relationship; However, there are circumstances where words slip out unexpectedly and completely not planned, and we do mean them which is what we're delving into now.

There are websites which highlight the top stuff you should never say to your girlfriend ... The reoccurring thing is never to say things that you actually don't mean to flight from a fight. Are men avoiding the awful truth to maintain a halfway decent relationship? Say a man could appropriately balance what he truly means, from which that he doesn't. Wouldn't logic say the "truth", the actual truth, great or awful is appropriate? "Are there still things in a relationship that one should never say" is quite a puzzling topic, 'cause the answer is both "Yes" and "No".

Those reckless split second utterances definitely equal "Yes" ... You're, regardless it's inadvertent, slandering the relationship. Sometimes, men and women wander into forbidden territory 'cause they're hurting, and want their partner to feel the same; Understand their pain, regardless it's meaningless or temporary. Evaluate the scenario, understand the warnings and think twice prior to crossing those risky lines. Once you opt to cross, remember (s)he may not be standing alongside you after it ... You must think to yourself, would that be worth it in the end?

Those times where the truth, the awful truth, stays undisclosed equals a "No" ... You are bottling the truth, and that's a surefire recipe for total disaster, Townies. You're wandering into forbidden territory via avoiding communication, openness and truthfulness. Plant the premium, whatever it takes to swing things into the right direction for you, and whatever that actually means dumb luck and fate knows.

So ... Are there still things in a relationship that one should never say? It's a puzzling war between crossing risky bridges and bottling the truth. It's high-risk relationship behavior, and it's a decision that's all your own, when interpreting what these mean for yourself and your relationship.

"Fear Factor."

I couldn't help but wonder ... If giving a lucky gal the key to your Small-Town apartment means unlocking those doors to truly great sex and mouthwatering home-cooked meals, why are these countless men hesitant in taking their relationships to the next level and entering those doors of happiness and pleasure? We're all ignoring these opportunities with great women 'cause the fear of being 'tied down' lurks in the night. But, let's not hunch for a conclusion regarding something we know very little about in retrospect. Everything deserves a fair shot, and we're ultimately refusing ourselves any romantic satisfaction by avoiding commitment and running from compromise. And who knows, maybe you'll see yourself tied up and not down after everything plays out for the relationship. Who doesn't enjoy that every once in awhile, Townies? Splurge; It's all about the happiness, the spark and the spice of the love. Chase that 'cause fear is not a factor for you, or your fate.

"The Drought."

The Small-Town could adopt a "Monsoon Season" per a wretched inheritance, yet there'd still be individuals 'drowning' in a dry spell. Do these mystical relationship God(s)/Goddess(es) dabble within a potion of abstinence, sprinkling a speck on those who could use a drought? Is there a greater-good, or are Townies' seasonably undesirable? Is it deprivation or a strike with purpose? I couldn't help but wonder ... In a "Pleasure-Free-Spring", how often is actually normal?

"Was It Good For You?"

I couldn't help but truly get to thinking about bed ... Are we discretely and secretly being graded every time that we invite somebody to join us in it? A+, C-, F; Incomplete. Has making love become nothing more than a Pop-Quiz? Now, if sex is a test, how could a individual know if they're P or F ... Passing or Failing? How could a individual know if they're good in bed?...

...Should we begin evaluating and monitoring our own Sexual Report Cards, or continue questioning with our blank/dumbfounded expressions?

"Girl, Interrupted."

I couldn't help but truly begin thinking about retro relationships ... Since high-school, the majority of men that I know have acquired much in fashions, finances and foods ~ But what about in women? Maybe, we were a lot better off when we all thought less and we kissed more. I couldn't help but wonder ... Have we graduated past our ability of capturing true love? When it comes to affairs of the heart, did we actually have it all right in high-school?

However, Delaney surfaces quite a conundrum ~ She, currently trotting the Halls of our high-school, seemingly has absolutely no idea of what she's perpetrating to the extent of dating/relationships. Simply put, we ( The Gang ) are left questioning as to what exactly the fuck is going on in Delaney's little alter-reality. Now, I don't wanna be misunderstood ... She's, by no means, a bad person ~ A bit awkward, seemingly much confused, a tad peculiar ... Not bad though. But is 'a bit awkward', 'seemingly much confused', and too 'a tad peculiar' labels for a misjudged individual? Misrepresentation for a gal who's...enjoying the cards she's raising the bet with? We are calling and folding ~ She's increasing the stakes and completely indulging in the ante she claims. She's got the Pocket Aces, we got zilch. So ... Maybe just 'cause her metaphoric fashion isn't showcased at our individual retailers doesn't claim her a total nightmare, emotionally that is.

From the outside in, she's fronting A.D.D ( Another Dating Disaster ) ~ The breathing and living model. 'Ya know, that there's a plethora of stuff in need of her focus that she's not contending with in order to optimize herself, not only as a girlfriend, but a woman. But, screw 'from the outside in' ... Could we be mistaking rich silk for broadcloth? Now don't get me wrong ~ She doesn't just sleep around, Delaney has relationships. They're simply dysfunctional, and are doomed to crumble all in lieu of her materialistic madness.

It's way unconventional ... But there we go again with the labels. Labels ~ Perhaps 'crazy' & 'unconventional' are loves' small idea for Louis Vuitton's Winter Collection 2014 of the heart. If you could afford it, oh, the places you would go ... So, could it be time to clone Delaney's style? If we had, and have it on lock in high-school, could it be that Kim, the others and I are stranded relationship pioneers? Completely lost for a route, when it seems as though this chick has paved her own pathway? If we were to conform, could we chew what we were biting off, or would our hearts be splattered all over the pavement in a diseased compilation of Emotional Russian Roulette? Seems far outta my grasp to be honest, especially given I'm commonly the one who's constantly judging and ridiculing that assortment of behavior. And, I'd be nothing but a hypocrite doing a major cartwheel, finding myself walking along a windy road home to such harsh ridicule. Her windy road.

It'd be scary, unfamiliar ~ Maybe it's time to get accustom to a fast love life, constantly in the sixth shift, until our shocks are shot and our tires without tread crash us into a meltdown. Except for ours, I haven't witnessed a solid relationship of hers ... One which embodies a challenging, equal and a fulfilling commitment. It required everything I had to balance our relationship for seven months. Was not easy ~ I was entombed in pressure, especially in the very end. Pat Benatar was so right ... Love is a battle field. But, no one 'won'. And I think my total loss for time, in a relationship where time was a necessity, is what had ultimately veered everything off course...
...If everything that unfortunately happened in my life, had not happened, would we still be together ~ And would we of indeed had it right all along? I still ask myself that question from time to time, but somehow regret doing so, 'cause of the way in which we ended ... The simple fact that she was completely willing to approach our end in such a ferociously dishonoring way, leads a small bit of me to embrace those things, for they were the things that shined a new light on somebody I had thought I truly knew and so well. Delaney has a lot of self-exploration that she must contend with. But at the same time, so do we. And, maybe on one glorious day, will we fashion our OWN piece of unconventional ~ Seasonable, unseasonable ... And we'll find that the white horse ride is over ~ Love, unconditional, will blossom and will flourish to the beat of our own hearts...
...Until then lovelies, spin the bottle.

"The Sixth Sense."

I couldn't help but wonder ... In a Small Town let alone the whole world that's seemingly incurably cynical, could one still wholeheartedly believe in the little concept known as 'Love-At-First-Sight'? I've heard endless horror stories, and began completely giving up on the whole idea all and all, until I began deeply wondering ~ Maybe, you're not supposed to be a firm believer until a firsthand experience convinces you otherwise?...

...Although, I've confronted a few friends regarding the subject, whose views were quite pessimistic ... But, in lieu of the valid points they've presented, I cannot say I disagree and I'm right back to the drawing board ready to question you peeps, my loyal and supportive Townies.

Apparently, The Small Town's too 'farky' for 'Love-At-First-Sight' ~ It's reserved for all the Carmen Electra's in the world. Here, women require a blood test and A.T.M receipts before they consider giving out their numbers to a guy. And the greatest vindication of all for being a nonbeliever would definitely be, how could one believe in 'Love-At-First-Sight' in a world where peeps willingly jack-off on you in a Subway?

I couldn't help but think about my friend, Michael, and his carefree approach to a love-life ... There's a whole heck of a lot less 'sight' there, and there's far more 'touch' ~ Maybe, love and the which ways it corresponds with our senses are now beginning to shift with the seasons. Perhaps 'Love-At-First-Sight' isn't so universally epic anymore, and 'Love-At-First-Touch' is up to the plate, bringing about a fresh batch of tormenting questions and completely revising the playbook for 'Affairs-Of-The-Heart'. First question being, will all major love tales that gift the heart with a little courage and hope each time begin to stem from prostitution?

"The Domino Effect."

Apple(s) ~ Let's pretend for a moment that they're The Small Town's Signature-Fruit...

...Then, the Signature-Sound would have to be the Ambulance-Siren. It seems like all day, everyday, individuals are perpetually getting hurt. But what's the Rescue Resort for those injuries which don't get sirens? Whether you're slipping/tripping into the common holes that're on the roads or you're possibly falling back in love with a woman, I couldn't help but wonder ... How dangerous are open hearts? And, are you fully willing to act on all those risks ~ Or, are those flickering pothole radars holding you in the Contempt of Heart?

Personally, I'm fully willing to take all those risks...
...Because when real individuals fall down in life, they are standing again A.S.A.P, continuing along their breathtaking and completely electrifying journeys towards destination 'Who-We-Wish-To-Be'. Short-And-Sweet "Happily Ever After's" are definitely the definition of desirable, but they're for the one bitch you can't stand, and they're cliche. Life's greatest treasure(s) are worth all the dedication, devotion and perseverance, and true love's dominating the list alongside family and friends of course ... Fight for all that's fabulous.

Please ~ Don't close up that heart, it's not a condemned house...
...Maybe after five years time, you'll possibly be prepared for a mastered reopening, but could you've missed your whole fate in the interim? And, to have an open heart, you've too got to have an open mind (Funny how they're inextricably linked [Head & Heart]). Have both and they'll guide you along your whole journey ... To ensure the grace and greatness which has been yours since the beginning of time awaiting it's claim.

"Laissez Faire : Part Deux"

There comes a point within this thing we call life, where you must rid yourself from pointless drama, and too all those peeps who start it. Surrounding yourself with those who make you laugh, where you begin to forget about the bad, and focus solely on all of the great. After all, life's too short to be anything but happy.

 

"Laissez Faire" was about conforming, losing any and all individuality...

...The vindication for "Part Deux" is my friend, Kim. She's recently an out-of-the-closet conformist. Thus changing her whole repertoire, although she prefers using "reinventing" as the term of choice. Kim's (was?) my best friend cause we're (were) one in the same. Her wicked sense of humor, quite shocking sense of realism and one-of-a-kind intelligence/personality, made her the greatest friend. But, all the winds of change have rearranged everything once known and personally loved about her. Now, Kim's a pseudo intellectual nightmare - Your average everyday, "Let There Be Light" because everything's wonderful bitch. Which, isn't what I bargained for, for the past eight years...

...She "marvels" how I could come to such a conclusion, as "I haven't been actively in her life the last few months" (Ongoing personal issues explain why I haven't been, it's not choice) ... Meanwhile, she lives three blocks away and I never see her reaching out. But, I do converse with her on the telephone for hours on end, frequently. And, I've known the chick practically my whole life, I pick up on things. I questioned her new behavior as I was quite confused. Although I wasn't quite as prepared for the total bullshit I was about to hear...
..."Well, I'm making changes to which I find negative about myself. 'Reinventing', if you may. Peeps change Hals....." Lamer explanations followed. The way she was Pseudo Intellectualizing anything & everything was exceeding what I could handle, I was out. She's a Cookie-Cutter trainwreck, I couldn't take the ramblings of a conformist. It's heartbreaking to ixnay her, but I have no choice. If/When she redeems her old qualities back, I'll heartwarmingly reinstitute the friendship. But, I simply cannot, if she doesn't. I'm the complete opposite of which she's becoming, I'd have to "reinvent" myself and I'm not about that, never will be.

Also, I'm completely not about drama ... Which would be paramount if the friendship continues. Although I'm ridded from drama, there's zilch exquisite about it. But I'm surrounding myself with Annabella (Relationships And The Endless Search) & Molly Dolly (Sex And The Suburbs). Although I'm sometimes aggravated/upset with one of the two, that's completely insignificant. I'm never left second guessing who they are - They are the greatest friends I could ever ask for and I'm everlastingly grateful for them both ... I'm never anything other than happy at the end of the day, and everything's exquisite about that.

"The Drama Kings."

I couldn't help but question drama and relationships ... Maybe, you're not supposed to believe something's the "Real Deal" unless somebody plays hard to get - Once stuff comes too easy, we're quite suspicious about everything...

...I couldn't help but wonder, must stuff get perplexing before one could believe that it's for real? You are raised to believe true love never comes smoothly. There has got to be obstacles in Act Two before you can live "Happily Ever After" in the Third Act. But, what's to occur if the obstacles are not there, does that imply something's absent from the equation? Is drama needed to make a relationship work?

"Three's A Crowd."

I couldn't help but wonder ... Are 'threesomes' the fresh and new sexual frontier? There's no question, dudes are infatuated with tripling the fun nowadays with threesomes. Once I began looking diligently I had realized they're everywhere - After all, our lives are actually completely built on threesomes...

...Fat, low-fat, nonfat. First, business, economy. Moe, Larry, Curly...

...Maybe, we were never meant to do it with one individual all along ... Maybe threesomes were the relationship of the future, a new form of ADD (Another Dating Disaster) where the price for attention had dropped miraculously, and all the new symptoms are treatable with a whole new array of side effects.

There's a definite struggle out there right now when one wishes to venture out and find a mate, let alone two...

...Let's say you've settled the dispute over third party gender, and you've now entered a three-way relationship. There's definitely a Jealousy-Factor that needs consideration. I'm one who believes you cannot be in love with more than one individual at the same time - Now, provided it's not an open relationship among all of you, there's a foundation of feelings which solidify commitment...
...Falling back on, "I'm one who believes you cannot be in love with more than one individual at the same time", a threesome relationship seems like Emotional Russian Roulette ... Threesome relationships institute a plethora of new ways in which a heart could be shattered. Could everyone be equivalently satisfied? I cannot help but think it would be a never-ending fight for equal attention. Everyone would be dividing their attention 50/50 which unfortunately doesn't add up to a whole. Remember, we're speaking of a relationship and not a no strings attached 'Wam-Bam-Thank-You-Mam' right now...
...One individual's probably going to see a lack of equality in the bed and maybe even in other areas too. Let's pretend that they're you. There's going to be jealousy possibly lead right to resentment - Which are two things that unlike a Rum & Coke, don't mix well, especially in relationships. Provided the other two're happy, that strongly suggests their connection together is stronger than which they individually share with you, at least on their end per their feelings. This inevitably singles you out, and you're a third wheel ... Until they eventually branch off, and you're left heartbroken depending on how hard you fell into all of the confusion in that love.

Speaking of Rum & Coke, allow me to fix myself one as I conclude this ADD for my Small Townies...
...Are threesomes the future relationship? Maybe. But, I hope not. You've gotta fully dedicate yourself to your lover - Which ultimately means giving them the key to your Small Town apartment and your heart. Once you allow one individual into the both, the "No Vacancy" lights up. Provided you are wholeheartedly in love with them, anyone else would be renting the space another already owns. Don't nonchalantly put up the "For Rent" sign and test that though, that's high risk relationship behavior not worth losing the aforementioned. Remember, the heart can't be split into two pieces ... Let's not try, as in the end it wouldn't be fair to yourself and the others that're involved, and vice versa...
...Until there's any further notice, let's leave threesomes to a night that we'll forget the day after, and not relationships. As I've finished this Rum & Coke, I'm ready to wake up to a morning with nothing worthy remembering, ha. Until next time, my Small Townies...

"Great Sexpectations."

After enabling our insomnia via a midnight call, I couldn't get Kimie's logic and words outta my head - Per the conversation, I began thinking about sexpectations ... We are aware as smart single men that we can't expect perfection in the bedroom or the relationship. But, life still manages to throw curveballs at us, some more expected than others. Maybe, once into your mid-thirties, 'dating' isn't the suitable title. Perhaps, 'waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-eventually-drop' would be more formfitting. So, if it is not the sex among me and you, somebody has to become a Jew - I couldn't help but wonder ... Why is it always something?

 

Ordinarily, women are like Erotic Novels - They fancy a romantic plot ... Whereas men are like Porn - Their preference is cutting right to the chase...

...Here's a hypothetical relationship scenario : Let's say the emotional and mental connection is absolutely terrific in every which way imaginable. There's too a physical attraction but the connection in the bedroom simply is not clicking - Eventually, with the absence of sex, whether it's a mutual agreement or what seems to happen over time, the other connection(s) will diminish, regardless their strength. There's no antidote for when things go terribly sour in the relationship.

There's a deadline on communicating the problems within a relationship, or what's lacking in it. It's definitely uncomfortable to speak negatively of that sensitive aspect, but what's worse is losing something possibly fabulous by not and avoiding it all together, until one picks to fleet ... Would they be the one that got away or the one that you let go and vice versa? There's a great likelihood they weren't the one for you, but with words left unspoken and stuff left unsorted out, you could never truly know.

Along the way, there's always need for change - If it's not about sex, it's regarding something that is equivalently as discouraging ... Few are willing to convert while others aren't. One might argue "change" suggests they're not sparking with the real you. I'm not positive I agree, it's contingent on where the urgency for change is placed, some things are a nonnegotiable in the end. However, there's probably a second piece to their argument which would carry weight. The right individual for you would accept and embrace you for who you truly are, flaws and all - So, what's the gig with the sudden needs for these earth-shattering changes?

Here's the verdict Small Townies : We're terribly wrapped up in locating the flaws within our lover to apply changes that, in our heads, bring us closer to a "Barbie & Ken" ... But, whatever happened to having a "Ross & Rachel" or "Carrie & Big"? Although together their ups and downs are undeniable, via dedication/devotion, modification, understanding and a supernatural love, are they the couples we are reminded of everywhere that we go. Those are the qualities which to strive for, which solidify a romantic relationship, surpassing the "Barbie & Ken" in every which way imaginable and possible...
...You'll be challenging each other, not to change, but to improve and prosper, while you flourish in a love strengthening each passing day - As you're holding the other's hand and you're locking lips, enjoying being in the other's arms after making love tremendously...
...Which, for the record, "Barbie & Ken" cannot do as they have flat and smooth crotches ... Things up in the Malibu dream house aren't too stellar. They're in need of change. Nothing validates desiring that life - Especially while you could be experiencing a love only found in a Small Town apartment.

"Lights, Camera, Relationship."

Supposedly, younger girls aren't threatened by a strong man having power ... Is it a whole generation, or only the one's you wind up encountering? As men's roles begin to change and evolve, we're left to assume that women's are too. There are hundreds upon hundreds of articles written about the new gal - But in actuality, does she exist? Perhaps, she's still the old gal, renamed and repackaged by some clever P.R man. Are the women of today less threatened by the power of men, or are they just acting?

 

Here's a thought ... Maybe women aren't the one's threatened by the power of a man. Perhaps, we're the one's who're threatened, threatened by our own power. If you've got a whole lot of money, there's always a lurking possibility when you get romantically involved with somebody that their incentive to be in the relationship isn't love, but it is all of the things you have to offer them. This's very rough. Sometimes, the ulterior motives of others are instantaneously distinguishable - While for others, they've got bluffing genuineness and sincerity down to a science. Of course everyone's true colors shine through at some point in time, via a mistake or slipup that's presumably unintended. Contingent on how attached to this individual you were ultimately decides the degree of heartache you will suffer along the journey of picking up the pieces once more, and starting over yet again ... If you've been nothing but a cash cow to somebody that you love with all of your heart, it's imperative you let go, end the relationship. You're not a ATM machine, you're a being with feelings who deserves all of the love they give in return - The one thing liquid assets can't be converted into is precious time, time that'd be way better spent finding yourself and that one woman who'll love you, and not for your bank statement but for your heart.

It's always tough to bounce back from a bad breakup ... But I believe something like this is one of the most tough. After this experience, the nagging thoughts that were once in the back of our minds, thoughts that women are with us for what we can offer them besides our hearts thrust into the forefront of our minds. This stirs up an utter lack of trust and makes us struggle with our power, the same power which threatens us with heartbreak, when we get romantically involved with a woman...

"Plus One's The Loneliest Number."

When you're a Small Townie, you're continuously pursuing either one of these three things at a clip ... A new job, a girlfriend or a place to call home. Let's pretend for a moment that you attain two outta the three, and they're terrific in every single way imaginable. Why are we constantly allowing whichever one we don't have to alter our perception on what it is that we do have - Why does one minus a plus one feel like it adds up to a zero?

It's frequent for one to think the grass is way greener on the other side of the fence ... Since the start of time, Mankind has never once been content all around with what it attains. Although this's terrific in ways, it's terrible in a plethora of other ones. We'll evolve into accomplished men and we'll advance ourselves tremendously. It's essential you have the appropriate balance of desiring to do greater, and too contentment with what you currently have to ultimately live happily in this world. Those that do not ever have the incentive to go out and achieve something incredible, generally go astray of ever accomplishing anything noteworthy and remarkable, and those that are continuously focused on what is absentee in their lives can never truly be happy.

After evaluating your current situation, if you've found yourself too much on one particular side, here's a conclusion and solution : You've got to locate a happy medium somewhere within it. You'll never recognize exquisite happiness if you don't do so. If you've got the great apartment and job, but you're without the girlfriend, there's no reasoning behind worrying yourself to death about it. This's where the motivational end comes into play - Because with the adequate motivation and willpower to achieve something wondrous enough for a lifetime comes the achievement. Somewhere along this illustrious journey we call life, Polly comes along and she challenges everything you once thought you knew, past worries fade into dust and there rests a love incapable of duplication or substitution that blossoms and flourishes as time passes and there is no possible end to something so magical.

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

I couldn't help but get to questioning the whole concept of honesty ... Maybe the idea was overrated. Maybe coming clean is the ultimate act of unquestionable selfishness, a method of absolving yourself by hurting someone who doesn't deserve it in the least. Way back in fifth grade, I cheated on a test with three friends - They wound up confessing what they had done and failed the class. I never told anyone about my involvement in the act and never suffered the consequences nor did it ever matter. When it comes to relationships, is honesty the best policy or was it a flimflam for suckers?

 

However, that was simply a test in fifth grade, a heart couldn't be broken because of it ... So, how much does the situation change for relationships, where so easily it's scary a heart can be shattered? When you cheat on something like a test, the premise of the act is simply the carefree way of passing. When you cheat on the person that you're in a relationship with, there's always an underlying cause - And the cause is typically what in your perspective is lacking in your current relationship. The indiscretion will likely feel terrific at first, due to the reunification with whatever it is you've been deprived of for however long, but back at the ranch this little thing named guilt kicks in. In view of these circumstances, one may wish the whole concept of honesty didn't exist ... That we lived in a guilt free and no-strings-attached world, where selective explanations was trending and you were completely innocent by omission. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Guilt has the capability of gnawing at your conscience to the core - First, you should question as to whether or not you actually belong in that particular relationship since you actually cheated on your partner. Infidelities cannot be justified with regret or sorrow and technicalities, especially when it was feasible to discuss your concerns and worries with your partner and derive a solution for them. However, if the damage is done, you're stranded with two options ... Let the guilt ingurgitate you, or jeopardize what you do have with your current partner. Well, I'm a firm believer in if you're willing to do the crime so to say, you should be willing to do the time and suffer the repercussions for your actions - Whether it's grand larceny or it's unfaithfulness in a relationship, it's practically the same gig with situational differences.

I couldn't help but wonder ... Are guilt and honesty linked to each other in an inextricable way? Maybe honesty isn't exactly the best policy of them all, but when guilt devours us, it seems to be the policy we continuously find ourselves investing in. Although coming clean jeopardizes everything we put at risk in our actions, we walk away with a very valuable lesson regardless of the turnout - Also, once we do find ourselves the right woman, cheating won't be an issue in any way ... And, once all factors broken down regardless of our current situations, that's definitely something to look forward to and strive for.

"All Or Nothing?"

Modern men have been told that if we apply ourselves, we can be anything we wish to be ... Astronauts, heads of an Internet company, even stay-at-home fathers - There aren't any rules and choices are endless. Evidently, they can all be delivered straight to your front door. Could it be possible we've become so spoiled by our infinite choices, that we're now unable to ultimately make one? That we're aware that once you choose something, one great woman, one miraculous apartment, one terrific job, another option bites the dust? Are we a generation who can't choose just one from column 'A' ... Did we have simply too much to handle - Or, can we have it all?

 

I couldn't help but wonder ... What defines "having it all" - Is it more or less the great woman, miraculous apartment and terrific job? Honestly, I find this to be strictly a matter of opinion and one's personal beliefs/preferences. For one individual, having it all could imply cutting ends meat, having a loving family of their very own and saying grace for what it is they do have ... While for another, having it all could imply an array of gorgeous women, beachfront property in the Hamptons and truckloads of money to blow along with a constant urge for more. As you can already determine, having it all has the ability to mean a boatload of stuff, and it tremendously varies by each person that you ask. "Having it all", fully depending on one's expectations and their perspective much to their dismay, may simply be something unattainable and far out of reach - However, if you do deem it attainable and "well enough" simply 'isn't doing it for you' for whatever reason(s), should you venture out into the world once more to find it ... Or will you wind up alone and broke, regretting not leaving it alone, maybe realizing to count your blessings and embrace what you do have in this world?

Maybe, the whole confusing concept of "having it all" is nothing other than an individualized pipedream. Or maybe "having it all" is simply living your life the way that God intended, because eventually all the pieces fall into place, regardless of how bullshit that may come across to you all in the present moment. Sure, there's a distinctive allure in "having it all", but would you be setting yourself up for missing your fate alongside valuable life lessons and things and die trying?

"Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl…"

Relationships have become so scarce in this day and age ... I'm literally waiting for rations designated for those who actually still believe in romance and the concept of true love. Instead, we're thriving off of "hooking up" and one night stands. Furthermore, it's not only just that - It's he bop, she bop and we bop. In simpler terms, we'll hop into bed with anyone and everyone these days. There's no exploring and searching for your sexuality and whatever suits you as a person in this day and age ... Becoming pan-sexual is paramount.

We're living in "Alice And Confused Sexuality Land" - Hello, I'm Alice and I'm confused for different reasons. I don't understand why we are doing this. Have we become so jaded to the point where we can't determine if we prefer cock or pussy? (I guess God made sperm banks and surrogates for too, more impractical and unobvious reasons.) Anywho, I'm unsure of what this means for the relationships of the future, provided there even are any ... Should this trend dictate that this is a new beginning for normal - Or, are we quite simply evolving into something scary?

 

I couldn't help but wonder ... Was our generation onto something? Was sexual flipping and flopping the wave of the future? If it is, could I play such a game or am I over the hill? If men can so easily transform into women, and women easily into men, then perhaps the whole concept of gender no longer exists. If we can take the best of the other sex and turn it into something of our own, has and is the opposite sex becoming obsolete?

"No Ifs, Ands Or Butts."

Relationships can be a whole hell of a lot of work nowadays. Sometimes, you simply want to pack it in and call it a day, but you're completely incapable of locating an adequate basis for doing so. It may not be totally sparking a flame you desire, however, you've found yourself a seemingly wonderful gal and you want to avoid the unpleasant feelings of guilt when splitting up with her over superficial or self-centered and irrational reasons. In these situations, you're stuck at a crossroads. You can't decide whether it's best you live "Unhappily Ever After" or to swallow your guilt and call it off, for whatever reasons you deem shallow and pedantic. If you're in this situation or find yourself in it at some point in time in the future, there's only one healthy solution ... If your heart is not in the relationship due to the circumstances you're faced with, absolve yourself from the relationship before someone seriously gets hurt, because when both hearts aren't in it to win it nothing good will ever come of it in the end. Regardless of guilt, it'll be well worth it. You can continue the search for "The One", "The One" who leaves no doubt in your mind that they are right for you, while the other is free to go do the same in finding someone who unquestionably returns all of the love they receive.

 

However, sometimes you will get the proverbial "Get Out Of Jail" free card. There are those occasions when you're completely justified in letting it go at the drop of a dime. There are particular one-off things that women can do to give you an immediate, guilt-free and iron-clad easy way out. Call it a free pass, call it rationalization, call it whatever it is you deem fit, this deal breaker ensures you can walk away with a clear conscience. There's no emotional electric chair for absolving yourself from something so obvious in its unacceptability.

 

After thoroughly reconsidering all this, I couldn't help but wonder ... Since when did dating become so dote friendly? Whatever happened to the times where a really bad kiss, cigarettes, or even a ridiculous dream were only part of a person's portfolio? In today's volatile dating market, is it wise to liquidate certain stocks after the first sign they might not perform as well as originally expected? Or, are there things one should try and negotiate? In the matters of relationships, what are the "deal breakers"?

"Laissez Faire."

Back when we were young, Marlo Thomas sang to us about accepting each other and our differences. However, as we begin to age, we start to sing a completely different tune. We cease to celebrate each other's life choices, and instead begin qualifying them. Is 'acceptance' really such a childish concept, or did we have it right all along? When exactly did we stop being free to be you and me?

Maybe it is just me, but I feel as if there are very few people left in the world who're confident in who they are. It's as if everyone's insecurities have completely gotten the best of them and we're all trying to fill some ideal mold that is not even achievable or real. Numerous individuals find themselves condemned for acting or looking a certain way, but if it works for that particular individual, who are we to judge?

Perhaps, it starts in high school, and not a lot of individuals grow out of it. Individuals have their idea of how individuals ought to want to look ... They're still unsure of where they got that idea from, but "everyone" else has that idea so it must carry some weight. Anyone who attempts to individualize and march to the beat of their own drum is, in their opinion, sabotaging the game for everyone else who's involved. There's definitely a degree of comfort in conformity, in knowing that you're not rocking the boat. To most individuals being "normal" is perfectly fine.

I think something as drastic as plastic surgery stems from they way we're becoming increasingly more judgemental on individual's appearances. 'The Daily Mail' online is the second most popular news website in the whole world, and it's almost entirely made up of articles bitching about the small imperfections of celebrities. Looking "perfect" is seen as much of a status symbol as is the size of the house you live in, the car that you drive or the logos on all your materials, in their opinion.

Personally, I try to ignore that aspect of society as much as possible. I've tried in the past to get answers out of individuals as to why they conform so much, but it has become apparent that nobody actually knows why. We're all expected to act as if we really know, and further we're expected not to question it, but nobody will ever be able to give you a straight answer.
When it all really started, I'm still unsure ... But, in this day and age we're all forced to be the same, the way in which society and other companies want us to be. We get brainwashed to think a certain way, buy certain things and to have certain values which unfortunately, aren't very natural. However, the companies want to sell ... That's why the media convinces us to believe in these fake values, so that we will continuously buy and conform.

"The Catch."

When you're young, your whole life's about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious - You can easily break a bone or even a heart. You always look twice before you actually leap, and sometimes you'll find yourself not leaping at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net as I've said. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

When you're young, everything's so simple. It's a flurry of fun, friends and completely fresh experiences. Judgement isn't placed upon you for being single ... As a matter of fact, the single life is embraced, and more brows are raised to actually being in a serious relationship. You're suspected to have meaningless, yet fun flings, while finding yourself and exploring all of the infinite opportunities and possibilities that life has to offer you. Being single meant that you are pretty sexy and that you are holding out until the right person for you came along - You are confident, independent and mysterious, uninhibitedly writing your own tale.

Then, you grow up and everything you once knew becomes so terribly complex. It's a flurry of confusion, criticism and experiences you wish to forget as soon as humanly possible. Judgement is placed upon you for being single ... The once embraced single life has now become frowned upon. You're suspected to have yourself a steady job, along with a happy marriage and adorable kid(s), yourself already found with the opportunities and possibilities life offers thoroughly explored. Being single now meant that you are pretty undesirable and that somewhere, you took a wrong turn and things went terribly wrong - You are unconfident, lost and the publishers apparently didn't like what you presented them with, metaphorically of course.
Throughout the course of time in your life things change so much. You'll see that some individuals made their dreams their reality, while others wound up living a horror story - All of their dreams dashed and illusions shattered. It's not fate, it's dumb luck ... So, I couldn't help but wonder; If you've found yourself lost in the shuffle of life, is there any way to undo chronological incorrectness, or does the highway to hell come with no U-Turns?