"Laissez Faire : Part Deux"

There comes a point within this thing we call life, where you must rid yourself from pointless drama, and too all those peeps who start it. Surrounding yourself with those who make you laugh, where you begin to forget about the bad, and focus solely on all of the great. After all, life's too short to be anything but happy.

 

"Laissez Faire" was about conforming, losing any and all individuality...

...The vindication for "Part Deux" is my friend, Kim. She's recently an out-of-the-closet conformist. Thus changing her whole repertoire, although she prefers using "reinventing" as the term of choice. Kim's (was?) my best friend cause we're (were) one in the same. Her wicked sense of humor, quite shocking sense of realism and one-of-a-kind intelligence/personality, made her the greatest friend. But, all the winds of change have rearranged everything once known and personally loved about her. Now, Kim's a pseudo intellectual nightmare - Your average everyday, "Let There Be Light" because everything's wonderful bitch. Which, isn't what I bargained for, for the past eight years...

...She "marvels" how I could come to such a conclusion, as "I haven't been actively in her life the last few months" (Ongoing personal issues explain why I haven't been, it's not choice) ... Meanwhile, she lives three blocks away and I never see her reaching out. But, I do converse with her on the telephone for hours on end, frequently. And, I've known the chick practically my whole life, I pick up on things. I questioned her new behavior as I was quite confused. Although I wasn't quite as prepared for the total bullshit I was about to hear...
..."Well, I'm making changes to which I find negative about myself. 'Reinventing', if you may. Peeps change Hals....." Lamer explanations followed. The way she was Pseudo Intellectualizing anything & everything was exceeding what I could handle, I was out. She's a Cookie-Cutter trainwreck, I couldn't take the ramblings of a conformist. It's heartbreaking to ixnay her, but I have no choice. If/When she redeems her old qualities back, I'll heartwarmingly reinstitute the friendship. But, I simply cannot, if she doesn't. I'm the complete opposite of which she's becoming, I'd have to "reinvent" myself and I'm not about that, never will be.

Also, I'm completely not about drama ... Which would be paramount if the friendship continues. Although I'm ridded from drama, there's zilch exquisite about it. But I'm surrounding myself with Annabella (Relationships And The Endless Search) & Molly Dolly (Sex And The Suburbs). Although I'm sometimes aggravated/upset with one of the two, that's completely insignificant. I'm never left second guessing who they are - They are the greatest friends I could ever ask for and I'm everlastingly grateful for them both ... I'm never anything other than happy at the end of the day, and everything's exquisite about that.

"The Drama Kings."

I couldn't help but question drama and relationships ... Maybe, you're not supposed to believe something's the "Real Deal" unless somebody plays hard to get - Once stuff comes too easy, we're quite suspicious about everything...

...I couldn't help but wonder, must stuff get perplexing before one could believe that it's for real? You are raised to believe true love never comes smoothly. There has got to be obstacles in Act Two before you can live "Happily Ever After" in the Third Act. But, what's to occur if the obstacles are not there, does that imply something's absent from the equation? Is drama needed to make a relationship work?

"Three's A Crowd."

I couldn't help but wonder ... Are 'threesomes' the fresh and new sexual frontier? There's no question, dudes are infatuated with tripling the fun nowadays with threesomes. Once I began looking diligently I had realized they're everywhere - After all, our lives are actually completely built on threesomes...

...Fat, low-fat, nonfat. First, business, economy. Moe, Larry, Curly...

...Maybe, we were never meant to do it with one individual all along ... Maybe threesomes were the relationship of the future, a new form of ADD (Another Dating Disaster) where the price for attention had dropped miraculously, and all the new symptoms are treatable with a whole new array of side effects.

There's a definite struggle out there right now when one wishes to venture out and find a mate, let alone two...

...Let's say you've settled the dispute over third party gender, and you've now entered a three-way relationship. There's definitely a Jealousy-Factor that needs consideration. I'm one who believes you cannot be in love with more than one individual at the same time - Now, provided it's not an open relationship among all of you, there's a foundation of feelings which solidify commitment...
...Falling back on, "I'm one who believes you cannot be in love with more than one individual at the same time", a threesome relationship seems like Emotional Russian Roulette ... Threesome relationships institute a plethora of new ways in which a heart could be shattered. Could everyone be equivalently satisfied? I cannot help but think it would be a never-ending fight for equal attention. Everyone would be dividing their attention 50/50 which unfortunately doesn't add up to a whole. Remember, we're speaking of a relationship and not a no strings attached 'Wam-Bam-Thank-You-Mam' right now...
...One individual's probably going to see a lack of equality in the bed and maybe even in other areas too. Let's pretend that they're you. There's going to be jealousy possibly lead right to resentment - Which are two things that unlike a Rum & Coke, don't mix well, especially in relationships. Provided the other two're happy, that strongly suggests their connection together is stronger than which they individually share with you, at least on their end per their feelings. This inevitably singles you out, and you're a third wheel ... Until they eventually branch off, and you're left heartbroken depending on how hard you fell into all of the confusion in that love.

Speaking of Rum & Coke, allow me to fix myself one as I conclude this ADD for my Small Townies...
...Are threesomes the future relationship? Maybe. But, I hope not. You've gotta fully dedicate yourself to your lover - Which ultimately means giving them the key to your Small Town apartment and your heart. Once you allow one individual into the both, the "No Vacancy" lights up. Provided you are wholeheartedly in love with them, anyone else would be renting the space another already owns. Don't nonchalantly put up the "For Rent" sign and test that though, that's high risk relationship behavior not worth losing the aforementioned. Remember, the heart can't be split into two pieces ... Let's not try, as in the end it wouldn't be fair to yourself and the others that're involved, and vice versa...
...Until there's any further notice, let's leave threesomes to a night that we'll forget the day after, and not relationships. As I've finished this Rum & Coke, I'm ready to wake up to a morning with nothing worthy remembering, ha. Until next time, my Small Townies...

"Great Sexpectations."

After enabling our insomnia via a midnight call, I couldn't get Kimie's logic and words outta my head - Per the conversation, I began thinking about sexpectations ... We are aware as smart single men that we can't expect perfection in the bedroom or the relationship. But, life still manages to throw curveballs at us, some more expected than others. Maybe, once into your mid-thirties, 'dating' isn't the suitable title. Perhaps, 'waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-eventually-drop' would be more formfitting. So, if it is not the sex among me and you, somebody has to become a Jew - I couldn't help but wonder ... Why is it always something?

 

Ordinarily, women are like Erotic Novels - They fancy a romantic plot ... Whereas men are like Porn - Their preference is cutting right to the chase...

...Here's a hypothetical relationship scenario : Let's say the emotional and mental connection is absolutely terrific in every which way imaginable. There's too a physical attraction but the connection in the bedroom simply is not clicking - Eventually, with the absence of sex, whether it's a mutual agreement or what seems to happen over time, the other connection(s) will diminish, regardless their strength. There's no antidote for when things go terribly sour in the relationship.

There's a deadline on communicating the problems within a relationship, or what's lacking in it. It's definitely uncomfortable to speak negatively of that sensitive aspect, but what's worse is losing something possibly fabulous by not and avoiding it all together, until one picks to fleet ... Would they be the one that got away or the one that you let go and vice versa? There's a great likelihood they weren't the one for you, but with words left unspoken and stuff left unsorted out, you could never truly know.

Along the way, there's always need for change - If it's not about sex, it's regarding something that is equivalently as discouraging ... Few are willing to convert while others aren't. One might argue "change" suggests they're not sparking with the real you. I'm not positive I agree, it's contingent on where the urgency for change is placed, some things are a nonnegotiable in the end. However, there's probably a second piece to their argument which would carry weight. The right individual for you would accept and embrace you for who you truly are, flaws and all - So, what's the gig with the sudden needs for these earth-shattering changes?

Here's the verdict Small Townies : We're terribly wrapped up in locating the flaws within our lover to apply changes that, in our heads, bring us closer to a "Barbie & Ken" ... But, whatever happened to having a "Ross & Rachel" or "Carrie & Big"? Although together their ups and downs are undeniable, via dedication/devotion, modification, understanding and a supernatural love, are they the couples we are reminded of everywhere that we go. Those are the qualities which to strive for, which solidify a romantic relationship, surpassing the "Barbie & Ken" in every which way imaginable and possible...
...You'll be challenging each other, not to change, but to improve and prosper, while you flourish in a love strengthening each passing day - As you're holding the other's hand and you're locking lips, enjoying being in the other's arms after making love tremendously...
...Which, for the record, "Barbie & Ken" cannot do as they have flat and smooth crotches ... Things up in the Malibu dream house aren't too stellar. They're in need of change. Nothing validates desiring that life - Especially while you could be experiencing a love only found in a Small Town apartment.