"Silence Of The Cheaters."

What's with cheating???

I'll answer that!

If you cheat gentlemen, there's definitely a piece missing in the relationship you're in.

You can plead the fifth, chucking it up to mistake and a wrongdoing.

Be that as it may, there's more there ... You're either in denial, refusing to face the fact, or you're not digging deep enough to explore the problems.

In any relationship, there's always a level of temptation to delve into the unknown.

Which may entail a little something something with a slutty cocktail waitress ... To loosen the gag (No pun intended) and embrace the pond of potential sex partners.

And that's human nature for men and women, no harm and no foul.

However, these urges are typically avoided when a man processes his current commitment ... He can realize what he gets at home is second to none.

He could then learn to put his free and wild sexuality undercover 'cause he don't need another lover.

It's the Season of Love in his life ~ The Season of Makin' Shit Happen.

Forget about the loose cocktail waitress. It's a waste of time, a complete waste. She probably has chlamydia or something anyway.

She'll say it's safe and all, but that's what they said about the Ford Pinto ... Think about it, do you want a Pinto near your dick? *Head Shake*. No.

Anywho, let's not veer off course, lads. 'Lads'. I can't with myself sometimes.

Okay. Okay. Cheating is a sensitive topic, and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Don't mind little 'ole me, I'm bad.

There are quite a few different cheating scenarios, and it can't easily be defined as a single thing.

So, let's delve!

You've got the knocking back of a few too many and ending up in the back of an El Camino. Classification Classy Cheat. Not.

You can place the blame on the alcohol, but a drunk mind channels a sober heart ... There's something within your relationship that's not clicking, or fucking? There's a brainteaser for 'ya. Chomp on that reality biscuit.

Don't scapegoat the Bud Light, that's not nice. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm a Sex Addict!" doesn't fly either. You're a "Sex Addict"? Really? And I'm a shoe!

Sex isn't frequent enough for you? Communicate that! I can't repeat that enough. Communicate! And if it's one night she's not there, invest in a little diddling with yourself ... Don't go manwhoring about dude.

The bar broad meant absolutely nothing to you, but for your current woman, she'll think it meant everything. Hell, you did it, didn't you? She'll begin to believe she doesn't get your rocks off, which will inevitably cause potentially irreparable damage to your relationship, leaving her bags packed and out. All 'cause you didn't communicate, 'ya douche. Unless........

The 'Unless' being you're in a relationship where the boundaries for healthy trust and forgiveness are lost on you both.

She can't stand the thought of being alone, you can't/won't face the actual problems in the relationship, which are now completely over the top bad.

That isn't a relationship anymore ... That's a disaster my friend, a conflicting, emotional disaster. Her being too afraid to let it go, you STILL being too afraid to just talk. And if you could've talked, imagine the reality of that as opposed to this aftermath of not.

Then there's the "relationship", where there's obviously something missing, and you cheat relentlessly. What's left there diminishes more and more every time. You could feel the guilt, or you feel nothing at this point.

Utter numbness ... You sleep with other girls to run from the troubles you can't even feel anymore. Yet you're still strapped to all this carnage and nothingness. Your current 'girlfriend' knows the full extent of your indiscretions, but has self-esteem problems or some shit and allows this to be her world, ignoring everything.

Emotional Chaos ~ These relationships are the signs that two people aren't meant to be. Hopefully you can free yourselves and learn something valuable for the future. Maybe you can stay friends (Although I doubt it), while definitely moving on.

Also, there's the "relationship" where both people actively cheat, maybe even find somebody new but feel shackled to the confusion and the pain of their current thing.

That's gotta end. Y'all need to book it and get out, so you can live. Your happiness lies elsewhere.

So, you see now, 'cheating' is tricky. It's a series of excuses, which can't be defined as a single thing.

There are endless Cheating Scenarios.

Gentleman, don't let those eyes wander ... That's the deadliest of Small Town sin.

Derive your own answers, solve your own problems. Life itself is the ultimate test of love and strength. And everyone's different 'ya know.

If you find yourself copying, you'll never know of your own mark in the world ... That's not cool.

In a world riddled with earth-shattering questions, both happy and heartbreaking, a dude can only hope for a Cheat Sheet. However, he must only battle with his three top resources in life while using them wisely. His dick, his heart, and his mind.

"I Can Set Your Secrets Free, Baby!"

Let's talk expression ... Self-expression. Emotional/Mental. Physical. Sexual. Key thing being, expression can't be disregarded, and it cannot be neglected. It's simply essential for living fully and happily. Unavoidable. Lose those doubts, 'cause you'll find no danger in expressing yourself. Let those walls burn down. It's fine.

Let's not dance around the subject, delve instead ... Expression and relationships. There's a 'PMS' model that's well-worth following. "Physical, Mental/Emotional, and Sexual expression". They're the beneficiaries of a healthy relationship one could say. The exposure disclosure. However, they're all useless unless exploited.

First and foremost, if you're not physically attracted to your woman, you shouldn't even read this 'cause that relationship has gots to go. I'm only saying, if you've gotta pop a viagra non-medically to plow the fields, why plant on that farm? A fresh start isn't THAT awful. Anywho, even if you aren't the "type", communicate those emotional/mental needs by takin' off the hard hat and quittin' the bitchin'. Which implies expressing what you feel AND what you think ... Don't get it twisted, it's possible they're total opposites in particular situations but they're equally vital, and you've gotta put those motherfuckers together real nice like Edible Arrangements. Could be bittersweet, but important. Last, but most-certainly not least, sexual. The thing which makes lovin' fun! Expressing bedroom needs, while cherishing the spark which turns 0 to 60 in a second. Mindblowingly. Get Raw and Go There with your woman. Make those octaves roar. Don't be a tease, that's child's play gentlemen. Don't be a misleading trailer for what's an incredible movie. Perfect every scene, and make every act undeniably irresistible and unforgettable with unmatched fire and intensity, using immense passion.

If, somehow, that didn't clue sweet wonderful you in, "Talk To Me" is but an ear away, Stevie Nicks style ... It's mindbogglingly fabulous, an orgasm for the ears, an inspiration for expression everywhere. Take the walls down gentlemen. There's something you can do ... A big smile, a good cry, a great laugh, an open heart and mind (Legs too, why not), let it out.

If you could have that relationship ... Where, any given moment, you experience that unshakable urge to have your woman right then and there, forever telling her about how gorgeous she is, how much you love her. And you're capable of emotionally and mentally expressing yourself at any degree, without fearing the fifth degree, or sweating judgment or ridicule. Where the bleakest thought of the bed pushes you over the edge of wooing excitement, and gettin' down with the get down by being freaky and going raw isn't intimidating done with the greatest of ease and love, it simply doesn't get any sweeter than that. There's something happening there, and it's fabulous. Let it happen, and don't rock the boat, let all those inhibitions go.

"I can see, we're thinkin' 'bout the same things ...

And I can see your expression when the phone rings,

We both know there's somethin' happenin' here.

Well, there's no sense in dancin' round the subject ...

And a wound gets worse when it's treated with neglect,

Don't turn around, there's nothin' here to fear."

"Meet Me Halfway."

Who recollects their teenaged relationships and all their teenaged flirting? Those times where cracking jokes, makin' fun and constantly teasing was how a guy showed a gal he liked her. I couldn't help but wonder ... Do we ever truly quit using those methods? A man tries to please his girlfriend whenever its possible, but pre-relationship, the 'Flirting Stage' duration, those teenaged rules still apply. The more a chick we dig ignores us, and teases us pretending that we don't exist, we're incredibly vulnerable to wanting her even more. Enjoying the chase, a forbidden love, or playing hard to get but it works. There's one thing, one thing that a man needs to know ... Are we chasing after somebody who'll never turn back around, meeting us halfway at the borderline of love? Is this the "Teenaged Rule", or simply being cruel?

"Reap Just What You Sow."

'Ya know, I'm not positive that I believe in belonging with somebody, destiny, fate ... When you're young, you scribble up these makeshift 'Fortune Tellers', randomly choose a couple numbers and there's your future carved in stone. However, I do think we're capable of falling in and out of love with multiple girls within our lifetime, and being equally happy with completely different women. Maybe, there are those particular girls we feel we "belong with", thinking that we must take that chance with or we'll miss out on something valuable.

Those gut feelings don't necessarily insinuate that she's "The One" for you but there's something else meant there. What's the fallback, or the 'Plan B', in the event a guy goes without receiving his opportunity? Whether it's the gal and she's not being receptive and resisting, or the feelings aren't matching and this "fate" isn't going anywhere productive, and that's that.

You see, Small-Townies, we've got all the abilities for preparing our own fate ... Rearranging, Remastering, Restyling, whatever, and makin' our own lives our personal definition of fabulous regardless of anything and everything. It's not our 'Predestined Fate', serving time for a crime. God and the Stars don't envision that shit. That's all us! Rough times, stupidity, a thrill, vengeance ... Those bring you to crime.

We're printing our fates hot off the press shooting a thing down, not attending a particular event pretending you had not received the invitation, or throwing an ex-girlfriend into your voicemail. It's something flickering inside us. It's the same for mates and a relationship. We can choose to "belong" to any woman. We'll take a shot, going for broke and check if we hit the target. If you don't, maybe you'll hit a different one, or try again.

"The Mistaken Identity."

Terrific ... I've found myself standing all alone on "The One-Way" yet again, Small-Townies.

What's "The One-Way" you all might ask? It's incredibly simple, especially for consistent viewers and those with experience. The art of realizing you care about somebody who's meaningful to you in your life more than they about you. Familyship, Friendship, Relationship ... Veritable spots for "One-Way" bullshit. Right now, it's about friendship, which I unfortunately know all too much about.

Inevitably, I dedicate myself to friends ... The close few I adore, cherish & love unconditionally/wholehearted without a doubt, I'm there for. Bullshit after bullshit, but the few still remain. What continuously occurs is that they find a great relationship, and I get the gank. Why? I have no fucking idea.

Maybe their new relationship has 'em turnt out, and they'll begin losing sight? I don't know. I don't ... But I do know it's inexcusable dusting a close friend off all for a relationship. I've dealt with this bullshit far too long in life, (Kim's relentless drama), and I'm exhausted. Can't anything not fucking suck?

I'm the one who'll be there for a friend regardless of anything and absolutely everything. Maybe, I'm one of those masochists. Get a relationship, and I'm a resident of "The Back-Burner". 'Ya know except for all those late calls obsessing about the relationship, forgetting a friendly "How are you?" before proceeding to ramble. Fabulous. I feel forever-so appreciated! Thank you. That's, that's great.

Currently, I'm strapped to this complete disaster with a great friend, a sisterly chick. Considering her and I had lost a great friend 'cause of the exact same shit, I'm speechless she's entering such a forbidden territory. I can't begin to tell you how much we mocked this chick for the mistakes she had made ... Ruthless! I cannot find an outlet for the anger I've got, and I think it's in our best interest we maintain a distance for a bit, in case I start flipping the script on her ass. I've dealt with this bullshit far too long in life, I'm familiar with this game. I need time, and that's that for now. She'll be leaving for a few week trip sometime tomorrow, so I get the time that I need after all.

~

*SIDEBAR*

She's incredibly religious ... She's not "intimate" with her man. Besides slipping the tongue (And not South), they're barely misplacing the boundaries of the "FriendZone", minus their exclusive label together. It's not 'till the marriage, at least for her. I know her guy wants more in the nearer future, which will bring about pressure and 'bunch of other bullshit. I don't blame him not one bit. A relationship minus sex is a relationship not worth having. 'Ya know, I'm pro-sex, especially when it's about the love. A 2 Carat Diamond Ring equaling making love to your woman doesn't fly for me...

...Oh The Road to Hell, paved with such great intentions. Too bad Hallmark doesn't carry any "Hey Asshole ... Best wishes!" cards...

...Disaster.

~

Alrighty ... Hopefully, she'll do a 'lotta thinking too and reflect a bit. However (Anything after "But" is shit), I doubt that. "Love" has got her batting for The Blindside in the grand scheme. The Classification of Neglect is "The Mistaken Identity", and I know all the rules, all the everything. Until stuff begins to spoil in her whatever you call it, I'm the sideline bitch who promotes emotional sluttiness for her given I'll get her to talk at all about anything!

I'm aggravated. Frustrated. Upset. Whatever. I truly hope everything works out for her ... Does that imply I'll get cut 'outta her "Picture Perfect" life? Who knows. However, I'm crystal with what I should anticipate here. I understand everything and all the possible outcomes.

Along the road, something's bound for an accident. Few pieces start going M.I.A, a few other(s) fall out, it's bullshit we're experienced with. 'Nadda new there ... And who's the first phone call she'll make? Halsey! The last question left is, will I answer? How much longer can I stand alone here, on "The One-Way" before I U-Turn that shit? Fleet the motherfucker. Fleet!

The synopsis? Simple, Small-Townies. Regardless a relationship that's all roses and sunshine, DON'T forget about those relentlessly there through anything and everything that's happened. The close friends. Continue to have those few relationships bloom and evolve with the world, converse and laugh as normal ... And no, not about the relationship all of the time. Please! Don't be "that" friend, that's not cute. Ugh, everyone runnin from your ass, hiring the local hitman. That's what's up. This bitch annoying!

Balance your relationships! Take a class, whatever, I'm only sayin'. Painful! Consider yourself powerless ... Succumb and get a nametag, do the 12-Steps for disillusioned and needy, dance a jig. There are heart(s) all on the line there. Admit the problems! Stuff could easily, emphasis on easily, spoil for the relationship. It's like Milk, 'wanna drink chunks? No. Leonardo DiCaprio and the heavyset chick ... Glorious - Triumphant? Sure! Hangin' on a wooden door, dying of hypothermia. Are you understanding? Lawd! I can't.

Don't forget friends ... And DON'T be "that" friend. Calling all Snipers! Seriously 'cause if and when the Milk curdles, there's a great chance they'll be long gone. Watch for the expiration dates. And after everything, could you truly blame 'em for dropping out?