"The Defining Moments."

In order to give definition to something complex as a romantic relationship, one must be able to compare it to something else. To one person, establishing that two people are "boyfriend and girlfriend" is the only way that you can define a relationship, while from another person's perspective, spending time with another person in a more intimate way than you would a friend is a relationship. Clearly, defining a relationship in this day and age, is not as easy as one would hope. A relationship can't simply be defined as a "strong connection between two people" or as "connecting with someone on a personal and a physical level" or more simply, "dedicating yourself to someone who you can have sex with". However, what ultimately defines a relationship is another relationship...

When a person does enter a new relationship, how are they to know whether what it is they have is "good" or not? From personal experience and observation, I have learned that when we try to determine a relationship's value, it always seems to come down to comparing it to the ones in the past. Of course you will think your first relationship is the best you have ever had, because it's the only one you've ever had. When you eventually move on, and find a new relationship, you will then finally be able to determine the actual "goodness" of the previous one(s). Does this new girl call as much as the last one(s) did? Does she enjoy exploring new and exotic places with you as much as the last? Does she remember special occasions like your birthday and Valentines Day like the last one(s)? Once we begin to start comparing these women, we can figure out are best and worst relationships and learn what to look for in the future ... However, once men get caught up in the process of comparing and evaluating, can we and will we ever really stop doing so?

It is a well known fact that every woman brings something different "to the table". One relationship may have been filled with passion but anger, while another was filled with happiness but predictability. Wouldn't it be a miracle if we could take the passion from the first relationship and the happiness from the second and form a new, even better relationship? Obviously, we're unable to do that (But with the scientific engineering of our time, at some point we may be able to, but let's leave that for a different day). If we can't build our own "perfect woman", and we can't change the demeanor of the women in our lives, why would we start comparing - What purpose does this process serve other than reminding us of what we'll never have?

The only way to define a current relationship is to compare it to the ones of the past, but when a man can't stop comparing will he ever be able to appreciate what he currently has?