"The Haunting Season."

Could you get to a future when your past is your present? I've been pondering this for quite some time. See, I was in this relationship for seven months, with a girl that I actually really liked. I had really thought that there was something promising there. But, in the end it winded up being A.D.D, another dating disaster...

I have reason to suspect she's a lesbian, who may or may not know it yet ... She's over-compensating for something. Isn't there always that time allotted for adjustment after a break-up? Well, ours certainly didn't appear to phase her in the least. Within a matter of days, she had a recycled boyfriend on her arm. This was not just a one time thing, it's a distinctive pattern in her love life. There's absolutely no break-up adjustment period allotted into her life, her focus is simply finding a new guy, over and over. In these three years of living in the Small Town, she has only been single for six months, tops.

I have observed that once relationships begin to start requiring equal effort on both ends, and it's not as fresh and smooth sailing like the beginning was, she bails at the drop of a dime. Apparently, she feels as if she deserves this idealistic fairy tale love finish which would require no work on her end, while the man pampers her. Maybe her downfalls in relationships stem from the less than stellar marriage her parents had, and she is not yet over that yet. However, if that is the case her solution isn't another relationship, it's a therapist. Here's the issue with her and her yearning for a fairy tale ... She seems to never let a good relationship flow and blossom into what it's meant to be. It's like her love life is a contradiction, she won't remain in a relationship if things are going in the direction she wants. Which I believe stems from her unresolved issues with her parents divorcing. She knows what she wants, regardless of the superficial expectations. However, something in the back of her mind must keep continuously telling her throughout each relationship, that if something appears good to dismiss it because it can only end up bad like her parents.

There are many factors to take into account. I'll never be too sure what her problems with commitment stem from, the possibilities are seemingly endless. Regardless, she's a dangerous individual to get attached to. She'll end up hurting you, as I've witnessed time and time again and have even experienced myself. Now that I've summarized the relationship I had with her and other details, I'm now capable of getting to the point of this blog post. I really feel as if though this past relationship haunts me from time to time. I truly cared about her, and what I find baffles me the most, is the way in which she disregarded me. She had the audacity of having one of her friends break up with me over a text message. When a relationship unfortunately dies, can we ever give up the ghost? Or are we to be forever haunted by the spirits of relationships past and what could have been? The answer is likely yes. Inevitably you'll be reminded of past relationships throughout your life, when you're doing certain things or you're visiting certain places.

You'll never be able to alter your past. Through time and with the comfort and support of your close friends, you'll learn to accept things. Never lose sight of your close friends through these times, this will be when you are in need of them the most. Also, be the kind of friend that someone can turn to in their time of need. These things happen, and you'll see that the past has only made you a stronger person who's ready for future relationships. Never let your past be something that negatively tampers with your future. Once you've faced your demons, say hello to the new and improved you. And when the past calls, send it straight into voicemail, because it has absolutely nothing new to say...