"Was It Good For You?"

I couldn't help but truly get to thinking about bed ... Are we discretely and secretly being graded every time that we invite somebody to join us in it? A+, C-, F; Incomplete. Has making love become nothing more than a Pop-Quiz? Now, if sex is a test, how could a individual know if they're P or F ... Passing or Failing? How could a individual know if they're good in bed?...

...Should we begin evaluating and monitoring our own Sexual Report Cards, or continue questioning with our blank/dumbfounded expressions?

"Girl, Interrupted."

I couldn't help but truly begin thinking about retro relationships ... Since high-school, the majority of men that I know have acquired much in fashions, finances and foods ~ But what about in women? Maybe, we were a lot better off when we all thought less and we kissed more. I couldn't help but wonder ... Have we graduated past our ability of capturing true love? When it comes to affairs of the heart, did we actually have it all right in high-school?

However, Delaney surfaces quite a conundrum ~ She, currently trotting the Halls of our high-school, seemingly has absolutely no idea of what she's perpetrating to the extent of dating/relationships. Simply put, we ( The Gang ) are left questioning as to what exactly the fuck is going on in Delaney's little alter-reality. Now, I don't wanna be misunderstood ... She's, by no means, a bad person ~ A bit awkward, seemingly much confused, a tad peculiar ... Not bad though. But is 'a bit awkward', 'seemingly much confused', and too 'a tad peculiar' labels for a misjudged individual? Misrepresentation for a gal who's...enjoying the cards she's raising the bet with? We are calling and folding ~ She's increasing the stakes and completely indulging in the ante she claims. She's got the Pocket Aces, we got zilch. So ... Maybe just 'cause her metaphoric fashion isn't showcased at our individual retailers doesn't claim her a total nightmare, emotionally that is.

From the outside in, she's fronting A.D.D ( Another Dating Disaster ) ~ The breathing and living model. 'Ya know, that there's a plethora of stuff in need of her focus that she's not contending with in order to optimize herself, not only as a girlfriend, but a woman. But, screw 'from the outside in' ... Could we be mistaking rich silk for broadcloth? Now don't get me wrong ~ She doesn't just sleep around, Delaney has relationships. They're simply dysfunctional, and are doomed to crumble all in lieu of her materialistic madness.

It's way unconventional ... But there we go again with the labels. Labels ~ Perhaps 'crazy' & 'unconventional' are loves' small idea for Louis Vuitton's Winter Collection 2014 of the heart. If you could afford it, oh, the places you would go ... So, could it be time to clone Delaney's style? If we had, and have it on lock in high-school, could it be that Kim, the others and I are stranded relationship pioneers? Completely lost for a route, when it seems as though this chick has paved her own pathway? If we were to conform, could we chew what we were biting off, or would our hearts be splattered all over the pavement in a diseased compilation of Emotional Russian Roulette? Seems far outta my grasp to be honest, especially given I'm commonly the one who's constantly judging and ridiculing that assortment of behavior. And, I'd be nothing but a hypocrite doing a major cartwheel, finding myself walking along a windy road home to such harsh ridicule. Her windy road.

It'd be scary, unfamiliar ~ Maybe it's time to get accustom to a fast love life, constantly in the sixth shift, until our shocks are shot and our tires without tread crash us into a meltdown. Except for ours, I haven't witnessed a solid relationship of hers ... One which embodies a challenging, equal and a fulfilling commitment. It required everything I had to balance our relationship for seven months. Was not easy ~ I was entombed in pressure, especially in the very end. Pat Benatar was so right ... Love is a battle field. But, no one 'won'. And I think my total loss for time, in a relationship where time was a necessity, is what had ultimately veered everything off course...
...If everything that unfortunately happened in my life, had not happened, would we still be together ~ And would we of indeed had it right all along? I still ask myself that question from time to time, but somehow regret doing so, 'cause of the way in which we ended ... The simple fact that she was completely willing to approach our end in such a ferociously dishonoring way, leads a small bit of me to embrace those things, for they were the things that shined a new light on somebody I had thought I truly knew and so well. Delaney has a lot of self-exploration that she must contend with. But at the same time, so do we. And, maybe on one glorious day, will we fashion our OWN piece of unconventional ~ Seasonable, unseasonable ... And we'll find that the white horse ride is over ~ Love, unconditional, will blossom and will flourish to the beat of our own hearts...
...Until then lovelies, spin the bottle.

"The Sixth Sense."

I couldn't help but wonder ... In a Small Town let alone the whole world that's seemingly incurably cynical, could one still wholeheartedly believe in the little concept known as 'Love-At-First-Sight'? I've heard endless horror stories, and began completely giving up on the whole idea all and all, until I began deeply wondering ~ Maybe, you're not supposed to be a firm believer until a firsthand experience convinces you otherwise?...

...Although, I've confronted a few friends regarding the subject, whose views were quite pessimistic ... But, in lieu of the valid points they've presented, I cannot say I disagree and I'm right back to the drawing board ready to question you peeps, my loyal and supportive Townies.

Apparently, The Small Town's too 'farky' for 'Love-At-First-Sight' ~ It's reserved for all the Carmen Electra's in the world. Here, women require a blood test and A.T.M receipts before they consider giving out their numbers to a guy. And the greatest vindication of all for being a nonbeliever would definitely be, how could one believe in 'Love-At-First-Sight' in a world where peeps willingly jack-off on you in a Subway?

I couldn't help but think about my friend, Michael, and his carefree approach to a love-life ... There's a whole heck of a lot less 'sight' there, and there's far more 'touch' ~ Maybe, love and the which ways it corresponds with our senses are now beginning to shift with the seasons. Perhaps 'Love-At-First-Sight' isn't so universally epic anymore, and 'Love-At-First-Touch' is up to the plate, bringing about a fresh batch of tormenting questions and completely revising the playbook for 'Affairs-Of-The-Heart'. First question being, will all major love tales that gift the heart with a little courage and hope each time begin to stem from prostitution?

"The Domino Effect."

Apple(s) ~ Let's pretend for a moment that they're The Small Town's Signature-Fruit...

...Then, the Signature-Sound would have to be the Ambulance-Siren. It seems like all day, everyday, individuals are perpetually getting hurt. But what's the Rescue Resort for those injuries which don't get sirens? Whether you're slipping/tripping into the common holes that're on the roads or you're possibly falling back in love with a woman, I couldn't help but wonder ... How dangerous are open hearts? And, are you fully willing to act on all those risks ~ Or, are those flickering pothole radars holding you in the Contempt of Heart?

Personally, I'm fully willing to take all those risks...
...Because when real individuals fall down in life, they are standing again A.S.A.P, continuing along their breathtaking and completely electrifying journeys towards destination 'Who-We-Wish-To-Be'. Short-And-Sweet "Happily Ever After's" are definitely the definition of desirable, but they're for the one bitch you can't stand, and they're cliche. Life's greatest treasure(s) are worth all the dedication, devotion and perseverance, and true love's dominating the list alongside family and friends of course ... Fight for all that's fabulous.

Please ~ Don't close up that heart, it's not a condemned house...
...Maybe after five years time, you'll possibly be prepared for a mastered reopening, but could you've missed your whole fate in the interim? And, to have an open heart, you've too got to have an open mind (Funny how they're inextricably linked [Head & Heart]). Have both and they'll guide you along your whole journey ... To ensure the grace and greatness which has been yours since the beginning of time awaiting it's claim.

"Laissez Faire : Part Deux"

There comes a point within this thing we call life, where you must rid yourself from pointless drama, and too all those peeps who start it. Surrounding yourself with those who make you laugh, where you begin to forget about the bad, and focus solely on all of the great. After all, life's too short to be anything but happy.

 

"Laissez Faire" was about conforming, losing any and all individuality...

...The vindication for "Part Deux" is my friend, Kim. She's recently an out-of-the-closet conformist. Thus changing her whole repertoire, although she prefers using "reinventing" as the term of choice. Kim's (was?) my best friend cause we're (were) one in the same. Her wicked sense of humor, quite shocking sense of realism and one-of-a-kind intelligence/personality, made her the greatest friend. But, all the winds of change have rearranged everything once known and personally loved about her. Now, Kim's a pseudo intellectual nightmare - Your average everyday, "Let There Be Light" because everything's wonderful bitch. Which, isn't what I bargained for, for the past eight years...

...She "marvels" how I could come to such a conclusion, as "I haven't been actively in her life the last few months" (Ongoing personal issues explain why I haven't been, it's not choice) ... Meanwhile, she lives three blocks away and I never see her reaching out. But, I do converse with her on the telephone for hours on end, frequently. And, I've known the chick practically my whole life, I pick up on things. I questioned her new behavior as I was quite confused. Although I wasn't quite as prepared for the total bullshit I was about to hear...
..."Well, I'm making changes to which I find negative about myself. 'Reinventing', if you may. Peeps change Hals....." Lamer explanations followed. The way she was Pseudo Intellectualizing anything & everything was exceeding what I could handle, I was out. She's a Cookie-Cutter trainwreck, I couldn't take the ramblings of a conformist. It's heartbreaking to ixnay her, but I have no choice. If/When she redeems her old qualities back, I'll heartwarmingly reinstitute the friendship. But, I simply cannot, if she doesn't. I'm the complete opposite of which she's becoming, I'd have to "reinvent" myself and I'm not about that, never will be.

Also, I'm completely not about drama ... Which would be paramount if the friendship continues. Although I'm ridded from drama, there's zilch exquisite about it. But I'm surrounding myself with Annabella (Relationships And The Endless Search) & Molly Dolly (Sex And The Suburbs). Although I'm sometimes aggravated/upset with one of the two, that's completely insignificant. I'm never left second guessing who they are - They are the greatest friends I could ever ask for and I'm everlastingly grateful for them both ... I'm never anything other than happy at the end of the day, and everything's exquisite about that.

"The Drama Kings."

I couldn't help but question drama and relationships ... Maybe, you're not supposed to believe something's the "Real Deal" unless somebody plays hard to get - Once stuff comes too easy, we're quite suspicious about everything...

...I couldn't help but wonder, must stuff get perplexing before one could believe that it's for real? You are raised to believe true love never comes smoothly. There has got to be obstacles in Act Two before you can live "Happily Ever After" in the Third Act. But, what's to occur if the obstacles are not there, does that imply something's absent from the equation? Is drama needed to make a relationship work?

"Three's A Crowd."

I couldn't help but wonder ... Are 'threesomes' the fresh and new sexual frontier? There's no question, dudes are infatuated with tripling the fun nowadays with threesomes. Once I began looking diligently I had realized they're everywhere - After all, our lives are actually completely built on threesomes...

...Fat, low-fat, nonfat. First, business, economy. Moe, Larry, Curly...

...Maybe, we were never meant to do it with one individual all along ... Maybe threesomes were the relationship of the future, a new form of ADD (Another Dating Disaster) where the price for attention had dropped miraculously, and all the new symptoms are treatable with a whole new array of side effects.

There's a definite struggle out there right now when one wishes to venture out and find a mate, let alone two...

...Let's say you've settled the dispute over third party gender, and you've now entered a three-way relationship. There's definitely a Jealousy-Factor that needs consideration. I'm one who believes you cannot be in love with more than one individual at the same time - Now, provided it's not an open relationship among all of you, there's a foundation of feelings which solidify commitment...
...Falling back on, "I'm one who believes you cannot be in love with more than one individual at the same time", a threesome relationship seems like Emotional Russian Roulette ... Threesome relationships institute a plethora of new ways in which a heart could be shattered. Could everyone be equivalently satisfied? I cannot help but think it would be a never-ending fight for equal attention. Everyone would be dividing their attention 50/50 which unfortunately doesn't add up to a whole. Remember, we're speaking of a relationship and not a no strings attached 'Wam-Bam-Thank-You-Mam' right now...
...One individual's probably going to see a lack of equality in the bed and maybe even in other areas too. Let's pretend that they're you. There's going to be jealousy possibly lead right to resentment - Which are two things that unlike a Rum & Coke, don't mix well, especially in relationships. Provided the other two're happy, that strongly suggests their connection together is stronger than which they individually share with you, at least on their end per their feelings. This inevitably singles you out, and you're a third wheel ... Until they eventually branch off, and you're left heartbroken depending on how hard you fell into all of the confusion in that love.

Speaking of Rum & Coke, allow me to fix myself one as I conclude this ADD for my Small Townies...
...Are threesomes the future relationship? Maybe. But, I hope not. You've gotta fully dedicate yourself to your lover - Which ultimately means giving them the key to your Small Town apartment and your heart. Once you allow one individual into the both, the "No Vacancy" lights up. Provided you are wholeheartedly in love with them, anyone else would be renting the space another already owns. Don't nonchalantly put up the "For Rent" sign and test that though, that's high risk relationship behavior not worth losing the aforementioned. Remember, the heart can't be split into two pieces ... Let's not try, as in the end it wouldn't be fair to yourself and the others that're involved, and vice versa...
...Until there's any further notice, let's leave threesomes to a night that we'll forget the day after, and not relationships. As I've finished this Rum & Coke, I'm ready to wake up to a morning with nothing worthy remembering, ha. Until next time, my Small Townies...

"Great Sexpectations."

After enabling our insomnia via a midnight call, I couldn't get Kimie's logic and words outta my head - Per the conversation, I began thinking about sexpectations ... We are aware as smart single men that we can't expect perfection in the bedroom or the relationship. But, life still manages to throw curveballs at us, some more expected than others. Maybe, once into your mid-thirties, 'dating' isn't the suitable title. Perhaps, 'waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-eventually-drop' would be more formfitting. So, if it is not the sex among me and you, somebody has to become a Jew - I couldn't help but wonder ... Why is it always something?

 

Ordinarily, women are like Erotic Novels - They fancy a romantic plot ... Whereas men are like Porn - Their preference is cutting right to the chase...

...Here's a hypothetical relationship scenario : Let's say the emotional and mental connection is absolutely terrific in every which way imaginable. There's too a physical attraction but the connection in the bedroom simply is not clicking - Eventually, with the absence of sex, whether it's a mutual agreement or what seems to happen over time, the other connection(s) will diminish, regardless their strength. There's no antidote for when things go terribly sour in the relationship.

There's a deadline on communicating the problems within a relationship, or what's lacking in it. It's definitely uncomfortable to speak negatively of that sensitive aspect, but what's worse is losing something possibly fabulous by not and avoiding it all together, until one picks to fleet ... Would they be the one that got away or the one that you let go and vice versa? There's a great likelihood they weren't the one for you, but with words left unspoken and stuff left unsorted out, you could never truly know.

Along the way, there's always need for change - If it's not about sex, it's regarding something that is equivalently as discouraging ... Few are willing to convert while others aren't. One might argue "change" suggests they're not sparking with the real you. I'm not positive I agree, it's contingent on where the urgency for change is placed, some things are a nonnegotiable in the end. However, there's probably a second piece to their argument which would carry weight. The right individual for you would accept and embrace you for who you truly are, flaws and all - So, what's the gig with the sudden needs for these earth-shattering changes?

Here's the verdict Small Townies : We're terribly wrapped up in locating the flaws within our lover to apply changes that, in our heads, bring us closer to a "Barbie & Ken" ... But, whatever happened to having a "Ross & Rachel" or "Carrie & Big"? Although together their ups and downs are undeniable, via dedication/devotion, modification, understanding and a supernatural love, are they the couples we are reminded of everywhere that we go. Those are the qualities which to strive for, which solidify a romantic relationship, surpassing the "Barbie & Ken" in every which way imaginable and possible...
...You'll be challenging each other, not to change, but to improve and prosper, while you flourish in a love strengthening each passing day - As you're holding the other's hand and you're locking lips, enjoying being in the other's arms after making love tremendously...
...Which, for the record, "Barbie & Ken" cannot do as they have flat and smooth crotches ... Things up in the Malibu dream house aren't too stellar. They're in need of change. Nothing validates desiring that life - Especially while you could be experiencing a love only found in a Small Town apartment.