"Riding Solo."

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

...Oh, I guess that's my cue.

Hello! Yes, I'm alive (I'm starting to see I say that a lot now, Lol). Let's delve!

So, I've got a friend who basically asked I treat him the way I treat my beloved Small Townies interestingly enough, and that I write a post which gives my feedback and input on his situation. Since he's sorta a train wreck when dealing with relationships, he doesn't have to fear being the proverbial outsider here. Ha.

I met him in September ... But it's one of those "I've known you my whole life" things. So, I think I've got a great grasp on his situation. Not that it's that complex, plus I've witnessed it before I met him, and I'm quite certain I will again in the future. 

Well, he's single, and he hates it. Yup! This bullshit again. Anywho, he's got a 'round the clock yearning for the affection and tenderness one receives from their significant other. And since he's not havin' all that much luck in the dating pond, he's going a bit crazy...

Here's where I weigh in ... For starters, there's NOTHING wrong with being single!!! Secondly, a modern relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's an endless array of bullshitters + game players out there who'll disguise themselves and take advantage of you in any number of ways. Nowadays, the usual result of putting yourself out there isn't only still being alone, but upset too. Who remembers the times where being a single man meant that you were available, sexy, and taking time to figure out what you're looking for?
Finding someone worthwhile, and solidifying a relationship doesn't, and it won't happen overnight. Plus, I've observed that it's something you don't find when you drive yourself crazy trailing after it ... It's a pleasant surprise, a thing you'll stumble upon when you least expect it.
As for you, Dontel (I don't protect the guilty, Lol), embrace singledom! That's the bottom line. And for those like him, those rules apply for you, too ... Also, I do suggest you invest in quality you time.

*Patiently waits for minds to exit the gutter*

Thoroughly explore yourself ...

*Waits again*

... 'Cause for those in those situations, there's a completely different relationship which needs their attention: The relationship they've got with themselves. Something's a bit off there. Sometimes, in a world where partnering up is all one wants to do, there's nothing better than being out of a relationship. You're completely at liberty to do whatever pleases you, and you've acquired more time to spend with the soul-mates you have already found: Your best friends.

"The Young And The Restless."

I'm young, but I'm restless.

I'm starting to understand I sorta flip-flop about what I feel ... Sometimes, I don't know what I feel. Maybe, those are the indicators there's too much there and I can't separate those feelings. Maybe, I'm empty and that's that.

Then again, 'Emptiness' is a feeling too. It's not a great one. Life's bittersweet.

"A New Beginning."

Small Townies! Yes, I'm alive Lol.

Life's what happens while you're makin' other plans you see. That's completely random, but it's the truth. Life is calling, and I don't have the time that I used to. Nevertheless, I'm here in the now. Let's delve!

Although I'm wiped out, I've still got shit to say.

I'm starting to learn shit all happens for a reason ... Tears eventually fade, a wound heals, and one day you'll understand everything's exactly how it's supposed to be. Notice I said 'supposed'. You see, 'supposed' don't necessarily go hand in hand with your expectations and wants. That's life! It opens you up to shit that's exotic and new to you. It's all for the best, too. 'Moving on' is a process which requires dedication and a promise to oneself that you're truly ready to let loose, and the shit that hurt you in the past don't matter anymore. 

It's never easy nor painless, and it's never supposed to be. That's the truth. Could you smile, and dig to uncover the beautiful?

"Me, Myself & I."

How often are we forgetting about our needs and wants? Especially for a relationship. Any relationship?

We're willing to compromise, jeopardize and sacrifice parts of ourselves for those we love, for their benefit.

Is there a point where selflessness becomes selfishness? And we've began neglecting ourselves? Honestly.

The Art of Compromise is inevitable ... That's the truth. However, that doesn't imply one shouldn't think of themselves while makin' a big decision.

Whether you cannot have a cat, nor enjoy yourself a cigarette in the comfort of your own apartment ... One may wonder. Is it worth it? I've got a whole lot I've got to consider for the future...

...Do you?

"Crystal Visions."

Here's a quicky, gentlemen ... It's probably not the one Small-Town hopefuls was a hopin' for, but hey.

Trust.

"You can trust me!" ... How many times has that blown up in your face? Personally, I've lost count. It's like counting the miserable sheep when you're too tired to sleep ~ What a grueling sport that is.

Trust is like a Mirror. You can "fix it" when it's broke. However, you'll still see a crack in that motherfuckers' reflection.

Broken Trust ~ The Scar on Belief everywhere.

Never forsake Trust.

'Ya don't know whatcha' got 'till its gone ... Easily lost, Hardly found.

The crinkled dollar which blew 'outta your pocket on a freezing, snowy Winter's Day. The freshly lit cigarette gusting in the wind, rolling along with the wind on the Freeway. Gone.

However, Trust can't be Found by uncovering the Snowflakes, or wandering about for that Nicotine fix ... It could be forever lost Without a Trace, like the Friend or Lover breached.

"Silence Of The Cheaters."

What's with cheating???

I'll answer that!

If you cheat gentlemen, there's definitely a piece missing in the relationship you're in.

You can plead the fifth, chucking it up to mistake and a wrongdoing.

Be that as it may, there's more there ... You're either in denial, refusing to face the fact, or you're not digging deep enough to explore the problems.

In any relationship, there's always a level of temptation to delve into the unknown.

Which may entail a little something something with a slutty cocktail waitress ... To loosen the gag (No pun intended) and embrace the pond of potential sex partners.

And that's human nature for men and women, no harm and no foul.

However, these urges are typically avoided when a man processes his current commitment ... He can realize what he gets at home is second to none.

He could then learn to put his free and wild sexuality undercover 'cause he don't need another lover.

It's the Season of Love in his life ~ The Season of Makin' Shit Happen.

Forget about the loose cocktail waitress. It's a waste of time, a complete waste. She probably has chlamydia or something anyway.

She'll say it's safe and all, but that's what they said about the Ford Pinto ... Think about it, do you want a Pinto near your dick? *Head Shake*. No.

Anywho, let's not veer off course, lads. 'Lads'. I can't with myself sometimes.

Okay. Okay. Cheating is a sensitive topic, and shouldn't be taken lightly.

Don't mind little 'ole me, I'm bad.

There are quite a few different cheating scenarios, and it can't easily be defined as a single thing.

So, let's delve!

You've got the knocking back of a few too many and ending up in the back of an El Camino. Classification Classy Cheat. Not.

You can place the blame on the alcohol, but a drunk mind channels a sober heart ... There's something within your relationship that's not clicking, or fucking? There's a brainteaser for 'ya. Chomp on that reality biscuit.

Don't scapegoat the Bud Light, that's not nice. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm a Sex Addict!" doesn't fly either. You're a "Sex Addict"? Really? And I'm a shoe!

Sex isn't frequent enough for you? Communicate that! I can't repeat that enough. Communicate! And if it's one night she's not there, invest in a little diddling with yourself ... Don't go manwhoring about dude.

The bar broad meant absolutely nothing to you, but for your current woman, she'll think it meant everything. Hell, you did it, didn't you? She'll begin to believe she doesn't get your rocks off, which will inevitably cause potentially irreparable damage to your relationship, leaving her bags packed and out. All 'cause you didn't communicate, 'ya douche. Unless........

The 'Unless' being you're in a relationship where the boundaries for healthy trust and forgiveness are lost on you both.

She can't stand the thought of being alone, you can't/won't face the actual problems in the relationship, which are now completely over the top bad.

That isn't a relationship anymore ... That's a disaster my friend, a conflicting, emotional disaster. Her being too afraid to let it go, you STILL being too afraid to just talk. And if you could've talked, imagine the reality of that as opposed to this aftermath of not.

Then there's the "relationship", where there's obviously something missing, and you cheat relentlessly. What's left there diminishes more and more every time. You could feel the guilt, or you feel nothing at this point.

Utter numbness ... You sleep with other girls to run from the troubles you can't even feel anymore. Yet you're still strapped to all this carnage and nothingness. Your current 'girlfriend' knows the full extent of your indiscretions, but has self-esteem problems or some shit and allows this to be her world, ignoring everything.

Emotional Chaos ~ These relationships are the signs that two people aren't meant to be. Hopefully you can free yourselves and learn something valuable for the future. Maybe you can stay friends (Although I doubt it), while definitely moving on.

Also, there's the "relationship" where both people actively cheat, maybe even find somebody new but feel shackled to the confusion and the pain of their current thing.

That's gotta end. Y'all need to book it and get out, so you can live. Your happiness lies elsewhere.

So, you see now, 'cheating' is tricky. It's a series of excuses, which can't be defined as a single thing.

There are endless Cheating Scenarios.

Gentleman, don't let those eyes wander ... That's the deadliest of Small Town sin.

Derive your own answers, solve your own problems. Life itself is the ultimate test of love and strength. And everyone's different 'ya know.

If you find yourself copying, you'll never know of your own mark in the world ... That's not cool.

In a world riddled with earth-shattering questions, both happy and heartbreaking, a dude can only hope for a Cheat Sheet. However, he must only battle with his three top resources in life while using them wisely. His dick, his heart, and his mind.

"I Can Set Your Secrets Free, Baby!"

Let's talk expression ... Self-expression. Emotional/Mental. Physical. Sexual. Key thing being, expression can't be disregarded, and it cannot be neglected. It's simply essential for living fully and happily. Unavoidable. Lose those doubts, 'cause you'll find no danger in expressing yourself. Let those walls burn down. It's fine.

Let's not dance around the subject, delve instead ... Expression and relationships. There's a 'PMS' model that's well-worth following. "Physical, Mental/Emotional, and Sexual expression". They're the beneficiaries of a healthy relationship one could say. The exposure disclosure. However, they're all useless unless exploited.

First and foremost, if you're not physically attracted to your woman, you shouldn't even read this 'cause that relationship has gots to go. I'm only saying, if you've gotta pop a viagra non-medically to plow the fields, why plant on that farm? A fresh start isn't THAT awful. Anywho, even if you aren't the "type", communicate those emotional/mental needs by takin' off the hard hat and quittin' the bitchin'. Which implies expressing what you feel AND what you think ... Don't get it twisted, it's possible they're total opposites in particular situations but they're equally vital, and you've gotta put those motherfuckers together real nice like Edible Arrangements. Could be bittersweet, but important. Last, but most-certainly not least, sexual. The thing which makes lovin' fun! Expressing bedroom needs, while cherishing the spark which turns 0 to 60 in a second. Mindblowingly. Get Raw and Go There with your woman. Make those octaves roar. Don't be a tease, that's child's play gentlemen. Don't be a misleading trailer for what's an incredible movie. Perfect every scene, and make every act undeniably irresistible and unforgettable with unmatched fire and intensity, using immense passion.

If, somehow, that didn't clue sweet wonderful you in, "Talk To Me" is but an ear away, Stevie Nicks style ... It's mindbogglingly fabulous, an orgasm for the ears, an inspiration for expression everywhere. Take the walls down gentlemen. There's something you can do ... A big smile, a good cry, a great laugh, an open heart and mind (Legs too, why not), let it out.

If you could have that relationship ... Where, any given moment, you experience that unshakable urge to have your woman right then and there, forever telling her about how gorgeous she is, how much you love her. And you're capable of emotionally and mentally expressing yourself at any degree, without fearing the fifth degree, or sweating judgment or ridicule. Where the bleakest thought of the bed pushes you over the edge of wooing excitement, and gettin' down with the get down by being freaky and going raw isn't intimidating done with the greatest of ease and love, it simply doesn't get any sweeter than that. There's something happening there, and it's fabulous. Let it happen, and don't rock the boat, let all those inhibitions go.

"I can see, we're thinkin' 'bout the same things ...

And I can see your expression when the phone rings,

We both know there's somethin' happenin' here.

Well, there's no sense in dancin' round the subject ...

And a wound gets worse when it's treated with neglect,

Don't turn around, there's nothin' here to fear."

"Meet Me Halfway."

Who recollects their teenaged relationships and all their teenaged flirting? Those times where cracking jokes, makin' fun and constantly teasing was how a guy showed a gal he liked her. I couldn't help but wonder ... Do we ever truly quit using those methods? A man tries to please his girlfriend whenever its possible, but pre-relationship, the 'Flirting Stage' duration, those teenaged rules still apply. The more a chick we dig ignores us, and teases us pretending that we don't exist, we're incredibly vulnerable to wanting her even more. Enjoying the chase, a forbidden love, or playing hard to get but it works. There's one thing, one thing that a man needs to know ... Are we chasing after somebody who'll never turn back around, meeting us halfway at the borderline of love? Is this the "Teenaged Rule", or simply being cruel?